Tuesday, August 28, 2012

News That Isn't

Top Notch Commenter, RG, linked this article in a thread.


New Study Shows Smoking Pot Permanently Lowers IQ


Marijuana smokers have long been characterized as dimwitted and slow. They tend to shrug off these stereotypes as artifacts of how they are when they’re on the drug, not how they are as people. If you’ve ever had the misfortune of enduring a pot smoker who takes you through the “beneficial” effects of marijuana on the brain, then you’ve likely wondered if the stereotype is true. As it turns out, it is.

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As it turns out I'm not surprised. Not even a smidgen. The study also indicated heavy pot smokers dismissed the idea of pot effecting their brain when they weren't stoned (which was seldom). This is also not surprising. When something makes you stupid-permanently-you're not likely to figure it out, now are you?

Basically this study confirmed that if you smoke pot heavily in your teen years, you will become Sean Penn. Sorry, dude, but there it is.

Here's another new study which won't surprise anyone. At least anyone who wears heels regularly and has a favorite OPI shade. And is not stoned out of their minds.

Every Man You Work With Thinks You Want To Sleep With Him

(Well, duh.)
A new study suggests that—no matter how platonic you imagine a relationship may be—every man you know but aren’t related to is trying to sleep with you. And what’s worse, they think you’re trying to sleep with them right back. 
Yes, really.

Really?

I am serious. I have to come up with a study to get all that lovely, lovely money in order to prove the most inane, obvious shit that everyone on the planet already knows.

I'm going to start a list of possible projects. How hard can it be?

Make up the list. Run the ideas by some pothead liberal who's none too bright and wants to sleep with me.

Slam dunk. Money in the bank.


10 comments:

  1. I'm going to start a list of possible projects. How hard can it be?

    Sitcoms should be a rich source of things that desperately need to be researched. For example see here (at 21:35).

    I haven't used marijuana so that's as deep as I'm going into this particular minefield. Time for a top notch female commenter to step in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Bob Newhart Show was one of my favorites as a kid. A classic!

      Men think all women are coming onto them, and they're wrong, and women KNOW all men are coming on to them, and they're right.

      I probably smoked a dozen times or so in my life. Marijuana was one of those experiences, for me, where I was meh. What's all the fuss? All it did was accentuate whatever mood you were already in. Hungry? Now you were starved. Depressed? You become a puddle on the floor. Having a good time? Could NOT stop laughing. yada yada yada. The whole time I had this sense of observing myself with a kind of quizzical, "WTF are you doing?" feeling. And when you would try to shake it off, no chance. You were stoned until you weren't and trying to "sober up" was a waste of time.

      I didn't really care for it. Didn't hate it. Just didn't care.

      Delete
    2. All that kind of stuff scares me. I got myself hooked on cigarettes. I definitely don't want to risk anything else, possibly worse, especially anything that includes the extra option of jail time.

      Delete
    3. It DEFINITELY is not worth your life being destroyed. And in the greater scheme of things, it's not worth contributing to the crime and underground economy that thrives around it.

      I'll take a lovely Scotch, neat, any day.

      Delete
  2. Captain Obvious strikes again! heh

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    Replies
    1. If I never get around to making my own list of "obvious things that need to be studied just so I can get money", I definitely need to make a list of "obvious things that someone else got money to study".

      But it's too depressing. They got my money.

      Delete
  3. Am I weird? (Heh, rhetorical I guess) I do not think one woman I work with wants to sleep with me, nor do I have any such inclinations towards them. I mean there are two that I would be intersted in if we were both single, I guess, but I have never been covetous of another man's woman, nor have I thought the grass greener. I have never been interested in sex without emotion or commitment. The very idea of myself with a hooker repels me.

    I don't think I could be your research assistant on that topic. Now going on RG's theme, on "How I met your Mother", they talk extensively about how different liquors affect a specific person. Finding patterns in drunks sounds like a fun and rich topic.

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    1. I honestly think this can be connected back to the thread where we decided all men lie on surveys, especially those relating to sex. That one was about drinking, but the common thread is men lie. There is such pressure to be a "stud", that they probably think, what's the harm? No one even knows it's me. I'm just having a little fun with the data here."

      I don't honestly think all men want to sleep with all women. But it is fun to tease men about it. It's one of the "common understandings" that just isn't true, but it feeds everyone's ego, so we leave it in place.

      Delete
  4. I resemble that first thing, I think, or I would, if I could.

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    Replies
    1. yeah...whatever...right? Me, too.....

      Delete