Wednesday, March 11, 2015

This made me cry.

Because I'm a softie who can't get through a Disney film without tearing up. Add helpless animals and I'm sobbing like a baby.

Years ago the entire family went to see the Disney film, "Eight Below". WHYYYYYY I don't know. First, it was a Disney film. Second, it was about loyal, abandoned dogs. What the hell was I thinking??? Fifteen minutes into the movie, maybe less, I was sobbing like a teenaged girl dumped by her boyfriend at a school assembly. I. MEAN. SOBBING! I was choking I was crying so hard. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't be quiet. I was blowing snot bubbles as I slobbered and wailed. People were looking at me with barely suppressed disgust, bordering on fury, and still I sobbed and choked and coughed and hiccuped. It was awful. My kids actually got up and moved a couple of seats away.

After the movie they wanted to go out to dinner. As we exited the theater, they took one look at my ravaged face and, rolling their eyes, resigned themselves to leftovers at the house. No way were they going to be seen in public with me.

So, yeah, this little video made me cry.

I'm an awful person.

I had to watch nearly the entire video before I realized that it wasn't a joke.

How awful does that make me???

This Old Horse

This old horse, the Rancher said,
she’s seen some better days,
she’s eating up my profits,
and costs a lot for hay.

Another horse would suit me,
a stronger one at that,
she's seen a lot of miles
just like my cowboy hat.

This old horse, the Rancher said,
she helped me herd my steer,
I’m pretty sure she's magic,
I know I hold her dear.

Another horse would suit me,
one that can run fast,
maybe one that’s younger,
or maybe one that lasts.

This old horse, the Rancher said,
she’s long and far in tooth,
my children do remember,
Why not trade her now?Bring her to an auction?
Replace her with a cow?

The Rancher's brow grew heavy,
he took a staggered step,
his eyes did show his hardships,
in wrinkles, as they crept.

His breath, he took in deeply,
as he poised to say his words,
it’s as if the earth grew silent,
that his message should be heard.

This old horse, the Rancher said,
has given me her life.
I wouldn’t trade for anything,
nor either, would my wife.

Another horse would suit me,
and perhaps someday will come,
but this old gal, I love her,
she is the chosen one.

This old horse, the Rancher said,
her service she did lend,
her and I, have seen the years,
this old horse, she is my friend.

Another horse would suit me well,
but her home is here to keep,
I owe her sanctuary,
my love for her is deep.

Another horse would suit me well,
and younger days for me,
and I will keep my promise,
until our last breaths, set us free."

Poem by Jess Vee

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Cats ARE assholes.

On her blog, Rachel Lucas used to have a category entitled "Cats and Other Assholes."

She was right. Cats ARE assholes.

Honestly, the owner taking the video should have known.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Because sometimes you have to improvise.

Submitted without comment. comment is, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Balancing Act

A friend of mine dated an Argentinian polo player years ago and he was the quintessential stereotype...gorgeous, with long dark curling hair, charming, rich, and a real snake...but she was having fun, so whatever. I used to tease her mercilessly by strutting around and tossing my hair back in imitation of his exaggerated gestures every single time I said his name. "Rolando!" You just had to do that. Throw back your hair and give it a flamboyant Latin swoosh...!

But there is something about polo players. They are all fabulously good looking, rugged, lean, and well...yeah....

And can they ever ride!

Such A Deal!

I'm thinking someone made a wee little mistake?

Even I am not so desperate to lose "the multidimensional aging around the eyes" that I would spend $13,555.00 for a 1 oz bottle of super duper serum.

But to each her own.

Besides, for a limited time you can save $13,440.62! Only six left at that price! Jump on it, ladies.