Monday, April 14, 2014

How Did Harry Reid Get Rich?

Remember when Reid was DEMANDING that Romney release his tax records? At least Romney made his money the hard way, he earned it. Reid made his money the old-fashioned way - he stole it.


HOW DID HARRY REID GET RICH?


Try this thought experiment. Imagine that someone grows up in poverty, works his way through law school by holding the night shift as a Capitol Hill policeman, and spends all but two years of his career as a public servant. Now imagine that this person’s current salary — and he’s at the top of his game — is $193,400. You probably wouldn’t expect him to have millions in stocks, bonds, and real estate.

Public servant, my ass.


Friday, April 11, 2014

Now I'm thoroughly confused.

Normally I feel as though I have a pretty good handle on the world around me and can make sense of even the most esoteric or random event, if given a few clues like context or timing or accomplices. But I just now casually checked my blogger stats page and, not surprisingly, after not posting anything of value for months, my readership has dwindled down to a few stalwart souls who are the type who probably would have still been bucketing water out of the Titanic as Jack and Rose went under.

That is not what struck me as completely unfathomable. I would have expected as much. It was when I searched down into the URL's of recent visitors that I had the shock of the day week.

I got a number of visitors from here:

http://forum.bible-discussion.com/newreply.php?do=postreply&t=30381

I kid you not.

I have absolutely no idea how, even with the tremendous power of GOOGLE, anyone from that forum would have found my blog.

But it did make me laugh. So there's that.




My Training Pyramid

When I was competing in Eventing, this should have been nailed to the barn door. Although, to be honest, I didn't need it to remember that hard liquor was at the top.


Hard liquor is always at the top. For when I run out of patience.


Good luck with this list.

HAHAHAHAHA! I can't even get my husband to go these things. The idea that I could have ever managed to get either of my children to do anything of these things is simply hysterical.

Besides, I live in California. If I had even tried to get my kids to do any of these chores, I would have been interviewed by Child Protective Services. In California the little darlings get trophies for everything, have birthday parties where every child in the school is expected to be invited, and you're under performing as a meaningful parent if your precious child isn't scheduled for at least six activities every day after school. Chores? How incredibly plebeian.

But still...it would have been kind of nice to have had a little help.


Easter Crime Wave

And you thought little baby chickies were all innocent.

Yeah...right.....


Easter Is Too Close To Swimsuit Weather



Wednesday, April 9, 2014

I'm Surprised Rep. Gohmert Calls Holder "Sir".

Listen carefully. You don't want to miss our punk ass Attorney General, Eric Holder, threatening a member of Congress.



"Don't go there, buddy."

Don't go there? Really?

Don't. Go. There? Or what? Just what will you do, if he "goes there"?
The First Non-Lady

I have never been so ashamed to be an American as I am now. That we would have re-elected this administration...knowing we were rubber-stamping shitheads like Holder and Jarrett, as well as granting the lovely Mrs. Obama another four years as First Lady, is not simply embarrassing - it is the equivalent of getting thrown from a horse and landing, after a high acrobatic arc, flat on your back so hard that you gasp and thrash on the ground like a panicked fish.

It's been too long...and I still can't breathe.

Friday, March 28, 2014

"Guess what? You do the math."

Just as a disclaimer, I have never gotten this drunk. Ever. In my younger days, I was always the one nursing one drink all night. It's probably so funny to me precisely because I've never gotten this drunk. Hard to laugh at yourself when you've ever looked and sounded this stupid.


Friday, March 21, 2014

Everybody dance now.

This just needs a little more cowbell.


Shit no one cares about but me.

I realize I've been terribly remiss in not posting lately at all but honestly, I've been terribly busy. And then you reach a point (or at least I do) where you feel that you've been absent for so long that you need Something Big to post about or why bother? I mean, who really cares if you disappear forever? So you become even LESS able to post...vicious circle...

So I've been wrestling with long essay posts about RSPECT or Flight 370 or zombies or zombies on Flight 370 or disrespectful zombies on Flight 370...you know..important stuff...until my husband just called me from SoCal and told me he met Mitt and Ann Romney this evening!!!

HOLY SHIT!!! (I'm certain Mitt and Ann would frown on my uncouth enthusiasm...but JEEBUS!) Hubby said they are the nicest people you would ever want to meet and that they were just delightful. Of course it was around horses and not politics, so that's always a better environment than the bullshit that is politics. Who isn't having a good time around horses?

So that's it. I don't have anything else to offer. Just -- HUBBY MET THE ROMNEYS!!!!

Oh...and all you liberals who trashed these good people? FUCK YOU!


Monday, March 10, 2014

Stupid Tow Truck Driver

While remarkable intelligence needn't be a requirement for driving a tow truck, some level of foresight might be handy. You are, after all, dealing with very big objects that move.




This isn't rocket science, but it is a kind of science. Mass...force...motion...gravity...Fuck.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

When you combine stupid with pushy.


Clever that he attached the death certificate, just in case they might try to wiggle out of it. Obviously now they can do nothing but yield to his superior maneuvering.

I find it funny that he appears willing to threaten his potentially future employers, so desperate is he for a job, but is unwilling to rewrite the letter after misspelling attendended attended. Just how serious is he?


The total release.

The expression used for giving rein to a horse as he extends his neck out over a fence as he jumps it is the "release." You are supposed to "follow" with your "release"  in order to maintain the correct contact with the horse's mouth. Not properly following a horse's extension over a fence will get you screamed at faster that almost anything because it can seriously interfere with the horse's effort and quickly lead to a horse who is either dangerous over fences or won't jump at all. Every student has had an instructor scream at them, "GIVE!" if they are the slightest bit sticky in reaching forward to allow the horse full extension of his neck.

This poor rider seems to be a bit of an overachiever when corrected by her instructor.


Actually, it looks as if the reins broke, but I couldn't resist my little story.

All joking aside, one should NEVER EVER be pulling backward on the reins over a fence. The rider should be completely balanced and independent, so that they can throw the reins away entirely, if need be, and remain perfectly over the horse's center.

Uh oh.


Mini-bacon

I don't believe there is any way you can watch this and not just WANT ONE!




You can almost SMELL the sizzling goodness of BACON!

HAHAHAHA! I'm kidding...really I am.

Actually, I'm kidding about all of it. Owning them and eating them. Pigs, even pot-bellied pigs, do not stay itty bitty and hilariously cute for very long. They all grow into some level of "what the hell were you thinking?" as they get bigger than you imagined and begin crashing around your house as a pet until all your friends realize that you must be a complete idiot because you OWN A PIG!

When our daughter was in 8th grade she raised a pig for fair. It got big and smelly and frankly disgusting remarkably fast. By the time fair arrived I was counting both the days and the pennies she would make if she sold the damn thing. As the end of the fair neared, with competition over and the euphoria of prizes fading, our daughter realized that this was "THE END." She started to become emotional about THE END until I calmly led her to an area in the hog barn where a local breeder had set up a sow and her piglets. The sow was the size of a FREAKING VOLKSWAGEN! I asked her where she thought something that size could live easily on our property and how she thought she might handle her. Our daughter looked at the enormity of that sow and dried her eyes. She gave me one long, resigned but committed look. "Shakira is bacon." And that was that.

But Hamlet is still adorable. Adorable bacon.