Friday, July 27, 2012

If You Weren't So Ignorant, I Wouldn't Need to Do This Every Night - UPDATED WITH AWARD!


Lucky we have the MSM or we would have to take our president at face value.

Listen up, you mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, gun-toting, sister-humping, Bible-thumping, six-toed, slack-jawed, fly-over mutants with your receding foreheads and prominent supraorbital ridges on your stupid faces. Everyone's getting really tired of having to explain this to you virtually every single freaking day.

The President is amazing. Got that? Amazing. Write that down...A. M. A. Z. I. N. G. And DO NOT move your lips while you write it. Jee-EEE-sus!

Amazing.  What that means is he never makes mistakes. Never. Not with the Olympics, not with Solyndra, not with Gitmo, not with the stimulus, not with Fast and Furious, not with Tom Dashcle, or Tim Geithner, or even Michelle. And certainly not when he speaks. He is a brilliant speaker.

Making mistakes is what YOU do. That is why we all need this amazing president. To keep you retards from doing stupid things, like building businesses and then thinking you're so smart. And that is also why I am here every single night setting the record straight, as if it matters at all to people so stupid that you actually believe what the president said is what he meant.

When our most magnificent president said, "... look, if you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own.  You didn’t get there on your own.  I’m always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart", you knee-jerking dimwits out there thought he was saying that you are selfish and ungrateful for all the help government has given you and that you are flat out wrong for taking any credit for anything you've done. You think he was actually saying that you can't do shit without government and that because of that anyone who happens to stumble across success should just forget that they had anything in particular to do with it and pony up. Pay up and then shut up. And that made you angry.

So let me be very clear on this: Because you're angry, he didn't say that.

There. I can't believe I have to explain this to you over and over. If you're angry at something President Obama said, he didn't say it. How much simpler does it have to get for you people to understand? It's like when you got all pissed off about the "spread the wealth around" comment or the "at some point you've made enough money," remark, or when he said, "'This is my last election. After my election, I have more flexibility,'" to the freaking Russian president about freaking missile defense.

So listen, one more time. If it makes you angry, you heard wrong. Got that? Damn, people. Are you really that stupid?

Come on. This poor president has already dumbed down his speeches to the level of 9th graders for the Europeans -- and we all know how much smarter they are than you. He basically has to get down on all fours and bark for you idiots to understand him.

How do you think this makes him feel?  Lonely. Yes. Miserable. Yes. Superior. Of course. Think of him once in a while. What must it be like to rule a nation of complete dumbasses and to have to even speak to you at all?  No wonder he is moving as quickly as he can to eliminate the Constitution.  Damn thing makes him beholden to people who resemble a bunch of thick-browed Neanderthals atavistically dumped into the 21st century as VOTERS. This beleaguered giant of a man only shows his amazing forbearance that he speaks to you at all.

Amazing.  He's just amazing.

A. M. A. Z. I. N. G.

And shut your mouth when you try to think.


Little bitter-clinger demonstrating his 2nd Amendment right like a boss.
Who's smart now?

******UPDATED!!!*****

I've been linked by Joan of Argghh! at Primordial Slack. This calls for another award moment.

I don't know whether to start drinking or dancing.


24 comments:

  1. Magnificent rant, and spot on. I'm so fucking SICK OF THIS SHIT with the media protecting their boyfriend from himself.

    Also I'm seeing stories this morning that they've finally figured out why everyone's so mad about "you didn't build that" - wait for it, just wait....

    RACISM!

    Of course.

    Closet. Whiskey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd crawl into the closet with you, but then I'd miss all the fun. I'll stay just outside and whisper to you what's going on.

      I'm sure it will be something like this:

      "Racism."
      "Racism."
      "Bush."
      "Racism."
      "Tea Party...Bush...CHENEY!"
      "Raaaaaaaa-cism!"
      "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP...RACIST!!!"

      Delete
  2. Got get 'em, Buttercup. As a fellow resident of the People's Republic of Aztlan, I salute your courage. Remember,the auto-da-fe is only a few years away here. Impious thoughts such as yours will be swiftly punished.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's too early on a Saturday morning... that should be:
    Go get 'em, Buttercup. As a fellow resident of the People's Republic of Aztlan, I salute your courage. Remember, the auto-da-fe is only a few years away here. Impious thoughts such as yours will be swiftly punished.
    There, the same drivel, but spelled correctly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is how badly I proofread: I can't find the mistake in the first one. What an idiot I am....

      As for impious thoughts. Yeah, that's me. All my life. One of these days it's bound to cost me.

      P.S. People's Republic of Aztlan. So DAMN true. Especially for you in SoCal. Up here in the woods, we've got mostly hippies and weed...the smoking kind. And lots and lots of rednecks. Everybody gets along pretty well because the hippies are too stoned to do much and the rednecks are busy riding horses and driving cattle, etc.

      Delete
  4. It's not just you, Buttercup, I've read Lambert's two comments 5 times each and there is no difference except spacing. Lambert, halp us we are cornfused.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank GOD! I know I suck at proofing...but I was thinking I had attained new depths of idiocy. HAHAHA!

      Delete
    2. "Go get 'em Buttercup" vs. "Got get 'em, Buttercup". I retain anally for a living.

      Delete
    3. OMFG! Does anal retentive have a hyphen????

      I am laughing my stupid head off. HOW could I miss the comma???? HOW?

      Easy. Dead simple, really.

      Delete
    4. Not just the comma. Got --> Go

      Delete
    5. HAHAHAHA! I guess that just PROVES my point that I suck at proofreading.

      It's humbling to constantly show off one's inadequacies in front of the whole world. Well...okay...two or three people, tops.

      Delete
  5. Buttercup, this is Righteous-good-truthy stuff that would be satire if it wasn't so damn TRUE!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. What makes us really stupid is that we have yet to realize the bastions of condensencion will crumble when we refuse to send them food, fuel and toilet paper. I'm willing to bet cutting off the toilet paper alone will cause riots unparalleled in history.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ....and I mispelled condenscension!!

    Bleh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you hadn't, I'd have figured you for one of those elitist prigs always going about the crease in O's pants and tossed you as spam!

      We don't cotton to words with more than three syllables around here.

      Delete
  8. Wandered in via Joan. Big, Neanderthal thumbs up from a hefty redneck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome. Don't hold your breath for me to write anything else worth reading. I think this was a one-off.

      Delete
  9. Buttercup, I posted this at IMAO. Perhaps your readers would also appreciate it, add to it, and pass it on.

    Isaac Newton said, “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” But, it was Newton (and Liebnitz) who developed the Calculus, not those giants, it was Newton who realized gravity. Newton was more intelligent, smarter, than his contemporaries. All of his contemporaries had the same information, the same insoluble problems, the same teachers and schools and universities as Newton. But, it was Newton who developed the math to solve the unsolvable.
    In the same vein, today, everyone has access to, and uses the same infrastructure, the same streets and bridges, and attends the same schools. So, if successful business owners aren’t smarter and harder working than anyone else, why hasn’t everyone built a successful business? The business owners may be standing on the shoulders of those who came before, but it is their vision, their intelligence, and their drive and ability that allows them to succeed, to see further. It is their taxes that maintains the infrastructure for everyone and pays to build new roads, bridges and infrastructure. It is only class envy that causes Obama and the marxists to claim “you didn’t build that.” Yes, Ear Leader, they did build those businesses, it was they who became successful, and they did it themselves.

    Ogrrre

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely. Spot. Freaking. On.

      Ayn Rand saw this kind of envy and greed that has to tear down the accomplishments of others in order to justify its theft. I quoted her in another post:

      "If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen."

      Delete
    2. And thank you so much for stopping by! I love input from intelligent commenters. It makes it so much more fun to feel you're talking WITH people instead of just hammering on the keyboard.

      Delete
  10. I am beginning to wonder if humans and liberals hear on different frequencies. Libs accuse the right of using dog whistle code words when we speak of Ear Leader, and the Ogabe Steno Pool has to interpret Obama's words for us. For example: "in over his head" = racism, "socialist" = racism, "incompetent" = racism. In other words, any criticism of pResident Obama is a dog whistle expression of racism that only commielibs can hear. Whereas "redistribute the wealth", "bankrupt the coal companies", "you didn't build that", and other such expressions that seem to have clear meanings need to be explained that what we heard was not what Jugears meant.

    Ogrrre

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    Replies
    1. Excellent point. I think Republicans should also perfect secret hand signals. That way we can communicate our racism even when we lose our whistle.

      Delete
    2. P.S. *****Humans and liberals*****

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      Delete