Monday, July 9, 2012


A study from the University of Pittsburgh has "discovered" that drinking at parties makes people seem prettier, more entertaining, and feel more outgoing.

Damn!  Who knew?  Of course this study WAS done in Pittsburgh, so you have to take that into account...I think in Pittsburgh they just drink so the lacerations don't hurt as much.
A new study led by University of Pittsburgh researchers reveals that moderate amounts of alcohol--consumed in a social setting--can enhance positive emotions and social bonding and relieve negative emotions among those drinking.
While it is usually taken for granted that people drink to reduce stress and enhance positive feelings, many studies have shown that  has an opposite effect. In a new paper titled " and Group Formation: A Multimodal Investigation of the  on Emotion and Social Bonding," research shows that moderate doses of alcohol have a powerful effect on both male and female social drinkers when they are in a group.
The paper will be published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.
Alcohol also makes you sing and dance better, idjits.  And all your jokes are freaking hysterical!

Someone spent money on this. Have we officially become the stupidest educated people on the planet?


  1. Uh, yeah, that one will go in my "Duh!" folder.. :P

  2. Where is the follow up study of mosquitoes congregating after sucking from drunk co-eds?

    I can see the genius forming in College:
    Student: What should I do my thesis on? Everything has been done.
    Prof advisor: Well, you have to go with what you know. Go with something close to your heart. Something from your College experience that really touched and motivated you.
    Student: Got it, Thanks!
    Prof Advisor: Glad I could help, I get a raise.

    1. Mosquitoes always get rowdy and look to get laid after college frat, wait...Oh never mind.

      That prof deserves a raise, guiding that young man to greatness like that.

      And now we are all better for it. I'm going to have another drink...I feel a song coming on...!

  3. Now if only Pittsburgh U can get the Surgeon General to endorse this, we would all live happier lives. Didja ever watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer? One of my favorite episodes (Beer Bad) has a college kid soliloquizing on morals had they been made under the influence.

    "Under the influence of way too much beer, we would not have the concepts of good and evil. Instead, everything would be 'pretty cool' or 'kinda nice'."