Speak up. Now.

Joan of Argghh! at Primordial Slack hits it out of the ballpark with this post. Of late there have been too many chest-thumping, full-throated roars about the injustices and overreach of our government. I have even lent my squeak to the chorus. But an open revolt is not in the cards, I believe. We will lose this country slowly, as we have been doing for over 100 years. Like a handful of sand that you slowly allow to slip through your fingers, at some point, the sand is gone, no matter how impossible this may seem when you hold it full and heavy in your cupped palms and only the barest few grains are slipping through.

At some point, it's all gone.

However, ALL OF US are already being made examples. Daily we comply with all sorts of indignities and insults to our sovereign sense of human rights. We answer intrusive questions, we suffer molestation in public by the TSA, we sigh at bureaucratic sand in our economic gears.

But here’s the thing: Obama won’t send an army, he’ll send your neighbor, the one with the IRS job. Or you’ll try to travel and a local NHS satrap will show up to investigate you, express serious doubts about your online comments, and ask you to get in his car, quietly please, as your wife and kids look on– and your neighbors whisper, “I always thought something was strange about him.” Some municipal quisling will bring four or five officers and arrest you for making a video, or for refusing a smart-meter on your home. You will be shamed in the local paper, not the New York Times.

 Read it all. It's very, very good. And it's worth some thought.


H/T: Primordial Slack

I've always got matches.

The Descent

Remember when the left sniffed temperamentally that there was such a thing as "fake but accurate"? It was simply a matter of misunderstanding, they pointed out, that documents which had been falsified were, in fact, falsified. The plebeian protests against this creation of "truth" only served to illustrate how the rarefied intellectual heights inhabited by the left and from which this "truth" emanated clouded the little people's ability to understand "truth". "Fake but accurate" was an attempt to convey to you idjits that there are times when it is not just permitted but when it is a moral imperative to make up facts in order to convey the "truth". Bitter clingers, right-wingers, extremists, absolutists, and idjits can not understand this. Y'all are too rigid. Y'all believe the truth demands that you yield to it -- not the other way around. But the left, in its infinite superior wisdom, in its intellectual agility, is free to mold the truth, shaping it to conform to their immediate needs.

Now they have added the additional subtle twist of making up facts to help their guy.  The left swings both ways, doncha know.

President Obama recently announced that he goes skeet shooting, like, all the time. Uncharitably many of you questioned this assertion, so the press jumped into action to back up our beloved.

Just a man and his gun. Skeet shooting at Camp David. All the time.

 

Are those shells in his pocket?

Instantly this picture was tweeted out by the New Republic to prove our beloved's bona fides as an avid hunter because y'all didn't believe him. Even a girl called his bluff.

Representative Marsha Blackburn was having none of it.

“If he’s a skeet shooter, why have we not heard of this? Why have we not seen photos? Why hasn’t he referenced this at any point in time?” 

Not content with questioning our beloved's hunting prowess, she racistly challenged him to a duel, of sorts.

Ms. Blackburn upped the ante of proof for Mr. Obama: “I think he should invite me to Camp David, and I’ll go skeet shooting with him and I bet I’ll beat him,” she said, in a Newser report.

Mr. Obama’s self-professed love of the shooting game came via a Sunday report in The New Republic, in which he addressed concerns that his gun control push would hurt hunters. In the report, and by way of reassuring hunters, Mr. Obama claimed that at Camp David, “we do skeet shooting all the time.”

Well, Miss Smarty Pants, there's your photo, courtesy of the New Republic. As crack reporters of The Truth, they quickly found a photo to tweet out across the Twitterverse to prove -- PROVE -- that our beloved shoots skeet, like, all the time at Camp David.

Do you doubt this? Can you not see the evidence with your own stupid eyes? Look at that stance, that cool, level gaze, that masterful handling of a dangerous, potentially illegal shotgun (potentially illegal for you little people, anyway). This man shoots skeet!

If you still doubt the evidence OF YOUR OWN EYES because of your rigid ideological racist hatred of our beloved, the picture was found right here:

Parody site of the White House which fooled the smartest guys on the team.

Right there it is, on the internet and everything. And we all know, or at least the very, very smart New Republic knows, that if it's on the internet, it's TRUE! Or true enough, anyway. True enough to fool all you idjits.

Well, it certainly fooled some people.

But you idjit right-wingers were not fooled?  RAAAAAACISTS! 


And so the descent. Mark my words. If you question our beloved's hunting skills and love of the sport, it is only because you are a racist. This is a HUGE dog whistle. Remember the old phrase, "great white hunter"?

RAAAAAAACISTS!

So shut up, you racists.

I think the press has really pegged it this time.

HAHAHAHA!

Proof positive. Only a racist would question this.

Spiritual vs. Realistic

First, the more spiritual take...

Now, the same idea, only more realistic...

Same song; different words. And I'm just a lot more likely to stick my tongue out. Besides, serene isn't a good look for me.

Excellent Advice.

Conspiracies are for real.

Truther.
Birther.
Hooker,
Herder.

HAHAHAHA!

Honoring the Ancient Ways

Assault Goat

I'm pretty sure he's not going to shoot deer.

If you outlaw guns, only goats will have guns.

A little pep talk.

Remember to be awesome!

Probably the directions were just too involved.

Apparently this 1964 attempt at "instant" bacon did not meet with success.

Decades later, we are still struggling with the recipe for "instant" bacon, it would seem.

I give up. There is a point where "stupid" intersects with "must die." Rachel Lucas has found it.

Don't ask if you don't want an honest answer.

I would give my eye teeth to sit down with this woman and have a drink. I'll bet she is a HOOT!

Game Changer

Best Roast Chicken Ever

Barbara is a wizard! Magical roast chicken.

This is not hyperbole. I have this cookbook and have been cooking this roast chicken for probably about 15 years. Barbara Kafka is a genius. Her recipe for roast chicken is the most fabulous-no-holds-barred-get-out-of-the-way-Katie-bar-the-door amazing thing you've ever had. (That isn't even hyperbole...trust me.) If you think you have the best roast chicken recipe and it's not this one - you don't.

Roast potatoes along side to serve with the sauce. Divine!

UPDATE!!! I should have written "cooking roast chicken this way" instead of "cooking this roast chicken". My inattentive writing has already been noted. Damn! I have smart readers. Thanks, FrankC, for keeping me on my toes! HAHAHAA!



Barbara Kafka's Simplest Roast Chicken

Adapted from Roasting: A Simple Art (William Morrow, 1995)
Serves 2 to 4

 

Photo by Nicole Franzen

5- to 6-pound chicken at room temperature, wing tips removed
1 lemon, halved
4 whole garlic cloves
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, optional
Kosher salt, to taste
Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 cup chicken stock, water, fruit juice, or wine for optional deglazing

 
1. Place rack on second level from bottom of oven. Heat oven to 500°F (or for convection, reduce to 450°F).
2. Remove the fat from the tail and crop end of the chicken. Freeze the neck and giblets for stock. Reserve chicken livers for another use.
3. Stuff the cavity of the chicken with the lemon, garlic, and butter, if using. Season the cavity and skin with salt and pepper.
4. Place the chicken in a 12 x 8 x 1 1/2-inch roasting pan breast side up. Put in the oven legs first and roast 50 to 60 minutes, or until the juices run clear. After the first 10 minutes, move the chicken with a wooden spoon or spatula to keep it from sticking.
5. Remove the chicken to a platter by placing a large wooden spoon into the tail end and balancing the chicken with a kitchen spoon pressed against the crop end. As you lift the chicken, carefully tilt it over the roasting pan so that all the juices run out and into the pan.
6. Optional: Pour off or spoon out excess fat from the roasting pan and put the roasting pan on top of the stove. Add the stock or other liquid and bring the contents of the pan to a boil, while scraping the bottom vigorously with a wooden spoon. Let reduce by half. Serve the sauce over the chicken or, for crisp skin, in a sauceboat.


Okay...so I've made a few changes over the years. Jacques Pepin makes a roast chicken that he serves with a sauce that is heavenly.

Do. This.

About halfway through cooking, add more garlic cloves (3 to 4 - skins and all. This is simple, folks. Don't make it hard.) in the pan with the chicken. When the chicken is done and you've removed it to a platter, saving all the juices in the pan, deglaze with liquid to scrape up the lovely lovely crusty drippings. Then transfer the drippings WITH the roasted garlic cloves to a blender and blend into a creamy, garlic sauce. Strain well into a gravy boat. OMG! This is good.

To make the roast potatoes:

Peel and cut in half, then cut each half in quarters lengthwise, as many potatoes as you want. I typically use two for a family of four. Put them all in a glass roasting pan and add a couple of tablespoons of vegetable oil, making sure it covers all the potatoes well. Add a couple of tablespoons of butter in small dabs over the top of the potatoes and then salt and pepper well. Add to oven alongside the chicken about 10 minutes into the cooking time of the chicken. The potatoes need to roast about 45 to 50 minutes, so adjust time accordingly. Don't mess with them AT ALL as they roast. When they are sufficiently crusted with roasted deliciousness, they will come out of the pan easily. If you mess with them before they have roasted to perfection, they will stick.

Serve the carved chicken and roasted potatoes with the sauce.

Die and go to heaven.

Sometimes you just gotta dance.

This horse decides to go "off course" and jazz things up a bit when he hears the music. He's got the moves...like Jagger.

What a naughty pony.

If you didn't see it, I didn't do it.

Still in a mood.

I think I've made my point.

Good morning...maybe......

I'll let you know. Oh...wait...you'll undoubtedly figure it out. Never mind.

It's Sunday morning and after church - and brunch - I might just shoot something.

I beg the pardon of anyone I've offended recently with my crazy rantings about gun confiscation and the true intent of Democrats just seeking reasonable compromise on 2nd Amendment rights to insure the public safety. My deepest apologies. Apparently, Democrats LOVE the 2nd Amendment. To prove how much they love guns, they want to take them all for themselves. Here is the list of torrid wet dreams of New York Democrats concerning their love affair with the 2nd Amendment.

The truth, courtesy of Steve McLaughlin, REPUBLICAN, NY State Assemblyman. 

From his Facebook page:

Here it is. This is the video where I was asked to keep the Democrat proposals for the NY SAFE Act away from the public. This list was given to me by a colleague and it is not confidential.

This bill was an attack on the 2nd amendment and the Democrats clearly wanted to dismantle the work of the Founding Fathers. None of these amendments were included in the final bill thanks to us fighting back. I will not stand silent while these unpatriotic proposals are pathetically thrown at us a 11 o’clock at night:

1. Confiscation of "assault weapons"
2. Confiscation o ten round clips
3. Statewide database for ALL Guns
4. Continue to allow pistol permit holder's information to be replaced to the public
5. Label semiautomatic shotguns with more than 5 rounds or pistol grips as "assault weapons”
6. Limit the number of rounds in a magazine to 5 and confiscation and forfeiture of banned magazines
7. Limit possession to no more than two (2) magazines
8. Limit purchase of guns to one gun per person per month
9. Require re-licensing of all pistol permit owners
10. Require renewal of all pistol permits every five years
11. State issued pistol permits
12. Micro-stamping of all guns in New York State
13. Require licensing of all gun ammo dealers
14. Mandatory locking of guns at home
15. Fee for licensing, registering weapons

Oh...and let's not share this information with the "little people" because they could very likely get all uppity and not want to be "reasonable" and might even refuse to "compromise."

Yeah...I'd say so. A little.

I'll think have that drink now.

H/T: Weasel Zippers and Ace of Spades Headquarters

Sunday Morning

Forgive me.

Our Greatest Statesman and the Conservative Question

For the last five years half of this country has been lectured, threatened, accused and denigrated for our divisive actions and speech. We are "bitterly clinging to guns and religion", hateful of "the other," and deeply resentful of "paying our fair share." We are arrogant, believing that we did, in fact, build that, and suspicious of science that seeks to save the planet through a massive transfer of wealth from rich countries to poor ones.

But we in this half of the country, ignorant and filled with rage, have remained unmoved by the threats and insults, immune to the wily charm of being called racists, Nazis, and nuts. Contemplating a second term as ruler over such an unappreciative population, one can only imagine that President Obama must be driven -- unwillingly, painfully, regretfully -- to the point where he now, at last, must concede that all his best attempts at conciliatory smack talk, finger-pointing, thinly veiled threats, and outright bribery, arm-twisting and lying have failed to create the bipartisan Utopia into which he had promised to march us as one, in lockstep, smiling, eyes lifted upward, "FORWARD!"

Even if it leaves half the country behind.

So, reluctantly, President Obama must come to the unavoidable conclusion that the only solution to the Conservative Question is The Final Solution. Politically speaking, of course.

Go for the Throat!

Why if he wants to transform American politics, Obama must declare war on the Republican Party.

by John Dickerson

On Monday, President Obama will preside over the grand reopening of his administration. It would be altogether fitting if he stepped to the microphone, looked down the mall, and let out a sigh ...

A long, suffering sigh. A sigh which acknowledges just how stupid and unreasonable half the country is. A sigh which recognizes that, because of this, he must now seek to destroy this half. Utterly.

Inaugural speeches are supposed to be huge and stirring. Presidents haul our heroes onstage, from George Washington to Martin Luther King Jr. George W. Bush brought the Liberty Bell. They use history to make greatness and achievements seem like something you can just take down from the shelf. Americans are not stuck in the rut of the day.

But the bitter half of America has selfishly robbed him of this tradition, leaving him no option but to smack us around some more.

The challenge for President Obama’s speech is the challenge of his second term: how to be great when the environment stinks. Enhancing the president’s legacy requires something more than simply the clever application of predictable stratagems.

The president who came into office speaking in lofty terms about bipartisanship and cooperation can only cement his legacy if he destroys the GOP. If he wants to transform American politics, he must go for the throat. (emphasis mine.)

Obama’s only remaining option is to pulverize. Whether he succeeds in passing legislation or not, given his ambitions, his goal should be to delegitimize his opponents. Through a series of clarifying fights over controversial issues, he can force Republicans to either side with their coalition's most extreme elements or cause a rift in the party that will leave it, at least temporarily, in disarray.

This theory of political transformation rests on the weaponization (and slight bastardization) of the work by Yale political scientist Stephen Skowronek. Skowronek has written extensively about what distinguishes transformational presidents from caretaker presidents. In order for a president to be transformational, the old order has to fall as the orthodoxies that kept it in power exhaust themselves. Obama's gambit in 2009 was to build a new post-partisan consensus. That didn't work, but by exploiting the weaknesses of today’s Republican Party, Obama has an opportunity to hasten the demise of the old order by increasing the political cost of having the GOP coalition defined by Second Amendment absolutists, climate science deniers, supporters of “self-deportation” and the pure no-tax wing.

Driven by the intransigence and willful stubbornness that mark half the country as people who would rather see children gunned down than be "reasonable" on further limitations on Constitutional rights, what is Obama left to do but destroy his opposition. 

That fight will be loud and in the open—and in the short term unproductive. The president can stir up these fights by poking the fear among Republicans that the party is becoming defined by its most extreme elements, which will in turn provoke fear among the most faithful conservatives that weak-willed conservatives are bending to the popular mood. That will lead to more tin-eared, dooming declarations of absolutism like those made by conservatives who sought to define the difference between legitimate and illegitimate rape—and handed control of the Senate to Democrats along the way. For the public watching from the sidelines, these intramural fights will look confused and disconnected from their daily lives. (Lip-smacking Democrats don’t get too excited: This internal battle is the necessary precondition for a GOP rebirth, and the Democratic Party has its own tensions.)

This approach is not a path of gentle engagement. It requires confrontation and bright lines and tactics that are more aggressive than the president demonstrated in the first term. He can't turn into a snarling hack. The posture is probably one similar to his official second-term photograph: smiling, but with arms crossed.

My smile doesn't have to reach my eyes. I can't stand this country. That means you.

The president already appears to be headed down this path. He has admitted he’s not going to spend much time improving his schmoozing skills; he's going to get outside of Washington to ratchet up public pressure on Republicans. He is transforming his successful political operation into a governing operation. It will have his legacy and agenda in mind—and it won’t be affiliated with the Democratic National Committee, so it will be able to accept essentially unlimited donations. The president tried to use his political arm this way after the 2008 election, but he was constrained by re-election and his early promises of bipartisanship. No more. Those days are done.

And if we let him get away with this, so are we.

I need this sign.

Something to consider.

This has now become a very real possibility.

A reasonable argument for gun control.

Or maybe that's just another argument for idiot control.

Someone once said, "Stupid should hurt." I think it's about to. But not for long.

Wise Words

From the Dalai Lama:

"The great benefit of science is that it can make a tremendous contribution to the alleviation of suffering on a physical level, but it is only by cultivating the qualities of the human heart and transforming our attitudes that we can begin to address and overcome our mental suffering. We need both, since the alleviation of suffering must take place on both a physical and a psychological level."

Insert Your Profanity Here

That line in the video just made me laugh out loud.

Joe Dan with another educational video in the ever growing curricula offered at Froglegs University.

F. U.

But, Joe, who doesn't love you?

Progressives are dinosaurs.

In this new Afterburner video, Bill Whittle points out, in his always reasoned and insightful way, that the age of centralized control -- the age of tyrants -- is finally drawing to a close. He likens them to dinosaurs. And we all know what happened to them.

I agree with his analysis. Life is simply moving too fast, for far too many people, for the governments of this world to continue to move like ponderous, lumbering giants and NOT get swept away as the dinosaurs did.

Extinction can be a good thing.


But extinction never comes without great pain, tragedy, and death.  When cataclysmic change happens, either in nature's environment or in man's, what can not or will not change is destroyed.

So let's not be surprised when they put up a fight.

Just saying.

Too good not to steal

Okay....I'm not going to steal it exactly. But I am going to point the way.

Go. There. Now.

And speaking of goats....

See? You KNEW Obama was the anti-Christ!

I crack myself up.

The ghostly driver.

Some of these reactions are priceless. 

"Oh, snap!"

Manufacturing Happiness

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.  ~Abraham Lincoln

No good reason at all why I find this so amusing.

But I'm still laughing.

H/T: to the always hilarious I Have Seen the Whole of the Internet

Makes me homesick.

I love my home state. 

BOISE, Idaho - A gun show was held at Expo Idaho Saturday and the organizer says sales are through the roof.

"These guns and ammo are going out the door in arm loads. Some people can hardly walk they've got so much stuff," said organizer Paul Snider.

How did I ever end up in California?

Come meet the dog.

The Greatest Gift

Change.

HA! I bet you thought it was going to be a gun.

O. M. G. That is all.

No words.

Wait...I've thought of a word. Stupid.


H/T: Moonbattery

Metaphysical musings.

And then he shot him. Because they didn't have gun control.

BOOM!

A gun control conversation with a liberal.

Liberal: Guns are dangerous! For your own safety, we need to make them illegal.

Conservative: I appreciate your concern for my safety, but I'm okay. I'm not afraid of guns, thank you. I actually like guns. They are very safe when you know what you're doing. I've never actually seen a gun attack anyone.

Liberal: Well, it's not you that matters. Societies with guns are violent. People can't be trusted.

Conservative: Really? Which people can't be trusted? All people?

Liberal: Bad people.

Conservative: You mean people who don't obey the law.

Liberal: Yes.

Conservative: Okay. So we should make a law to prevent bad people from getting guns.

Liberal: Yes.

Conservative: Don't we already have laws for that?

Liberal: They don't work.

Conservative: Because bad people don't pay attention to the law.

Liberal: Yes. Exactly!

Conservative: So if we just make more laws, they will finally pay attention, is that it?

Liberal: Your humor is not appreciated. If no one has guns, then guns can't fall into the wrong hands.  Criminals get a hold of guns that were legally purchased.

Conservative: So...criminals who broke the law to find guns, won't break the law to find guns if you make it harder for them to find guns. Right?

Liberal: Yes. That's exactly right.

Conservative: So...if something is legal and easy to get, then if you make it illegal, criminals have no way of getting it. Right?

Liberal: Yes. That's exactly right.

Conservative: Like drugs.

Liberal: What?

Conservative: You know, illegal drugs. I don't have any. I can't get any. They are really, really hard to get. So criminals must not be able to get illegals drugs either.

Liberal: Oh...shut up.

Starting them young.

There is no good reason to delay the education of our children in their basic human rights. Life. Liberty. The pursuit of happiness.

Basic human rights which require of us discipline, accountability and responsibility in order to exercise them intelligently.

Gun rights, which protect all the others.

BA-BAM!

My daughter. Exercising her 2nd Amendment rights like a boss.

...THE RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED.

To sweeten your day.

No. It's not a raffle for a gun.  If you didn't win, maybe next year. Oh..wait...next year guns will be illegal.

It's a recipe for the easiest little nibble imaginable. You can make a batch of these sweet cinnamon nuts in under ten minutes. And today is a day for nuts, that's for damn sure.

CINNAMON SUGARED WALNUTS

1 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon
dash of salt
6 tablespoons whole milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 cups walnuts

Combine sugar, cinnamon, salt, and milk in a medium saucepan. Cook to 236 degrees on a candy thermometer. Remove from heat and add vanilla. Stir in nuts. Stir until creamy and nuts are completely covered. Turn out onto cookie sheet lined with waxed paper. Spread quickly before they harden.

When they have completely cooled, break into small pieces and ENJOY!

The courage of their convictions.

What she said. Comedy gold.

We'll let you know what rights you have and don't have.

We're discussing it now. Don't do anything until we tell you what we will allow.

Constitution? What's that?

NEW YORK — Sen. Charles Schumer says retailers that sell assault weapons should stop offering them for purchase while Congress discusses gun regulation legislation.

Schumer on Sunday released a letter he sent to major retailers asking for a voluntary moratorium.

The New York Democrat says consumer demand for guns has gone up in the weeks since the December mass shooting in Newtown, Conn.

Schumer says Congress is debating the issue, and if measures get passed that limit these type of weapons, it won’t help if more of them have recently been sold. (emphasis mine.)

President Barack Obama has made gun control a top priority. Vice President Joe Biden is expected to give him a comprehensive package of recommendations for curbing gun violence this week.

I'm pissed.

Cold. Dead. Hands. Assholes. Cold. Dead. Hands.

Oh! For f*&k's sake!

Tomorrow we, the little people, the stupid people, the angry, violent, regressive, atavistic, glassy-eyed bitter clingers who hate children and love guns, are going to be lectured by our Beloved Leader on how little, stupid, angry, violent, regressive atavistic, glassy-eyed and bitter we are because we insist on clinging to our guns just so we can continue to kill kids.

GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU LITTLE F*&KERS! (BAM! BA-BAAM! BAM!)

And because subtleness does not tend to work on little, stupid, angry, violent, regressive, atavistic, glassy-eyed bitter clingers, Beloved Leader will be surrounded by children while he shakes his courtly finger at us.

GET OFF MY TV, YOU LITTLE F*&KERS! (BAM! BA-BAAM! BAM!) OOPS! Now how am I going to watch killing on the Outdoor Channel? Damn. Should have thought of that before I started shooting.

He's going to be surrounded by children. So that America gets it. So that America can understand that if law-abiding people are allowed to own guns, children will die. Children. You know, the short people we hate. CHILDREN! But you can't take away our guns! We want to shoot them. Just for fun. Besides, since the liberals didn't abort all of them, they must have intended to leave some around to serve as target practice for the rest of us.

Why else would we want to own guns? Who ARE we going to shoot, anyway, if it isn't the children?

All these men were doing it for the children.

Look at their little faces....aaaaahhhh. All lined up like that........

BAM! BA-BAAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Safety, my ass. 

Honestly, I'm as angry as I've ever been in my entire life. Talk about politicizing a tragedy!?!?! How is it that the left is being allowed to get away with this insulting, disgusting attempt to openly manipulate people's emotions to achieve the complete surrender of our Constitutional rights? HOW?

Nothing makes me angrier than when the left parades children before us. What outrageous hypocrisy. What utter conceit. These are the people who refuse to discuss any restrictions on their right to kill any child at any time until, I guess, the neighbors know you have one.

First we were called racists because we questioned the actions of a black president. Then we were called selfish and hateful because we questioned the overreach of a lawless government. And now we are child murderers because we refuse to relinquish our guns to the tyrants.

Cold. Dead. Hands. Assholes. Cold. Dead. Hands.

For the children.


H/T: DOUBLEPLUSUNDEAD

Jokes that aren't funny.

Laugh or cry. It's your call.

And only with muskets! Because we are assuming that nothing will ever change through human enterprise or inventiveness. When we write, "...the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed", we obviously mean only the arms we currently have. We are just talking about muskets. Muskets to kill deer. We are far too stupid to envision any advancement in weapons EVER. And we can't IMAGINE getting into a fight with our government.

Wrong. Swimming pools.

Might as well give us your guns. We already have your kids.

Because then we will be safer. Guaranteed.

Giving the government (and criminals...but I repeat myself) a total monopoly on power is never a really bright idea.

Obama knows all about that.

What a difference a day makes. Oh...and a couple of little shi(f)ts in power....

That was then. This is now.

LALALALALALALA! I can't hear you!

Your rights are now the right to screw around, screw up, screw off, and get screwed over.

This is me. Not laughing.

Death and taxes.

Inevitable.

Now, even more so. For you morons, that means inevitable-er.

H/T: The Last Refuge and IMAO

There is a time for courage.

Gird your loins, kittens.

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. ----W. E. Henley

Obama is bloviating.

Is there any way to politely scream at the TV, "SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU LYING SACK!"

Probably not.

But he is making the most outrageous threats and accusations about the debt ceiling. He is laying all the blame at the feet of Congress for the spending, saying that now they have to live up to the obligation of paying for all the bills they racked up.

WHO racked up those bills, Mr. Effing President? WHO?

As I recall, there hasn't been a budget in years. You've been allowed to spend anything you damn well wanted without so much as a "how do you do" to  Congress.

And now it's THEIR fault?

What a monster.

This is all the warning you're going to get.

My Sunday morning prayer.

Don't you wish to GOD?

This would go a long way toward realizing world peace.

If you're going to be stupid, you'd better be pretty

Actually, I agree with her.

Miss Iowa, on the legalization of marijuana:

Answers like that - and a pretty smile - can get you 4th place. Okay.

But where did Miss California end up, because this answer is positively brilliant.

That muddled response was overshadowed by Miss California, Leah Cecil whom responded to a pre-pageant question on ABC about her thoughts on euthanasia, “That’s a vaccine, right?”

That is right, sweetheart. It cures everything.

Of course, no post on the stupidity of beauty contestants is complete without revisiting that classic by Miss South Carolina:

I personally believe U.S. Americans are unable to do so because uuuh...some people out there in our nation don't have maps...but they have GUNS! So we're good. Somebody shoot something, will ya?

Smart AND fashion savvy. Judge, we have a winner!

Nature happens.

And it almost always involves death.

"Give me liberty or give me...!"

Circle of life kind of stuff. Gaia in action.

Here's your sign. UPDATED!!!

One of my guilty pleasures is the comedy of the Blue Collar crew. While Ron White is my favorite, with his cigar and scotch and shit-eating grin, Bill Engvall is always funny when he gets into the numerous reasons why people should be awarded "the sign."

But it occurs to me that we have available a better sign that proves stupidity with alarming and decisive finality.

If we catch you. After the fact, of course.

However, my position that a gun free zone sign only serves to illustrate how stupid - and unarmed - you are does instead, according to my intellectual betters, clearly demonstrate how bitter and clingy I actually am. As I am completely unable to take my finger off the trigger of my gun, even long enough to pick my nose or thumb through my King James version of the Bible, I am unable to demonstrate how effective this sign really is. Apparently using a sign to indicate your desire to protect yourself with a sign works. Just watch this informative video.

I don't know how you can argue with that. Look at the way that sign stopped the violent and armed perpetrator every time.

Once again, liberals are very, very smart and are never driven by an agenda, but only by "what works." They are pragmatists. Only science is their master.  We idiots and in-bred fly-over 'tards still bitterly clinging to our damn guns are the ones who do not trust signs because we are ideologically driven. We don't care about statistics or results because we can't understand science anyway - just killing stuff.

Exactly, sweetheart. You're cute. Stupid works for you.

I just have one question. If these signs work so amazingly well, why did President Obama just sign into law a bill that gives him Secret Service protection for life? Why not just get himself one of those super-duper, fool-proof, fail-safe signs? Who doesn't want that kind of protection?

I would probably be considered a little petty if I pointed out at this time that this level of hypocrisy has rarely been seen in politics. Even from Democrats. And that's saying a lot.

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UPDATED!

"You'd have to be a gun-toting, slack-jawed, goat-roping circus clown to miss the armor-piercing logic of my position on gun control," stated Mayor Bloomberg at his recent press conference.

"The most salient point made above, and one I feel compelled to enumerate as you seem to keep missing it, is that guns are NOT FOR THE STUPID LITTLE PEOPLE. As soon as you can grasp that concept, we'll all get along much better," he offered diplomatically. "I mean, honestly, if I don't believe that you're capable of using salt correctly or regulating your soda intake appropriately, why in the world would I believe you needed access to a gun?

"Guns are for the smart people. We need guns to stay safe--OOPS! I mean saf-ER than your government issued sign would insure--so that we can continue to run things. What would happen to all you nose-picking, bare-foot beauty queens if all the smart people were unprotected--OOOPS! again. I mean, protected only by their sign?

"Look, there are people that society can afford to take chances with. That would be all of you.

"Then there are people who are so smart and important and NECESSARY that society must break its own rules of safety in order to keep them safe-ER. That would be us.

"Remember when President Bush said, 'I've abandoned free market principles to save the free market system'? Well, this is like that.

"And if you weren't so stupid...but whatever. Here's your sign."

Well, I feel safer already.