When football is seriously serious.

And awesomely awesome.

You MUST view this full screen to get the full effect. It's truly memorable.

Ride'em like an eventer!

Richard Spooner is NOT an eventer, he is a California grand prix rider -  and he is GOOD! When his horse takes off long at a triple combination, Richard does the unthinkable.

He throws away his reins and rides through it like a boss.

Everyone who jumps knows that, no matter WHAT we think we are doing up there, it's the horse who is jumping the fences, and if something goes wrong, it's the horse who is going to take care of it.

Remembering that when 5' 6" fences are rushing up on you is another thing entirely.

When I watch this I am amazed at how instantaneously and effortlessly he just lets go and stays out of the horse's way...and I say that as a rider who used to be teased mercilessly because I was always coming at the biggest combination on the course having dropped either my reins or my stirrups.

But I never did it on purpose.

Clever horse.

But not a great career move. Unlikely he'll be selected to be a jumper after this.

A horse is a horse...of course...of course....

Unless it's an ass.

On CraigsList, we find horses who dearly need a good home, preferably with someone who only wants to feed and pet them. Working for a living is not part of the deal, apparently.

Miserable, cantankerous horse for sale - $1400 (New Haven) 

Meet Rotten Banana. My wife named him that before he was born 7 years ago, and for that reason I believe she is a true psychic medium.

Rotten Banana's father was a registered Paint we owned, who was a valiant sweetheart of a horse but was ugly as sin. His mother is an evil wench, but is built like a brick house and is afraid of nothing. We thought the breeding might give us a valiant sweetheart who was built like a brick house. Instead, we got.....Rotten Banana. (This reminds me of a joke.)

Banana has a lot of.....personality. He has great ground manners. He loves attention. He is probably the best horse I have ever seen about picking up his feet. My 6 year old daughter can lead him anywhere.

And that's where the good stuff ends, so....maybe stop reading here?

Still reading? Dammit.

Rotten Banana is very broke to ride and has hundreds of trail miles. Like his mom, he is afraid of nothing. He will go through brooks, mud, trees and not miss a step.

If he wants to.

If he doesn't want to, he won't do anything. Literally.

If you want to ride, he will just stand there. Whip and spur all you want, the best you will get is a half-hearted buck and a grunt. (The very reputable natural horsemanship trainer I paid $900 to work on this became as exasperated as i was.). If you want to put him on a trailer, and he doesn't want to get on it, he will go backwards. Quickly. If you want to put a bridle on him, he will actually point his nose to the sky like a timberwolf. When you are not looking, he will either steal the hat off your head with his teeth, or grab your shirt and give you a tug.

In short, he is an ass.

So, if you're looking for a project horse with lots of miles left in him- ta da! Here he is.
Someone with time could actually make a horse out of him. That person is not me.

 *********************************************

And here's another dearly loved family member needing a good home. One with pasture and carrots and apples and nary a saddle or bridle around.

POS AQHA Gelding Sorrel - $200 (St. Hedwig)

POS AQHA sorrel gelding-5 years old. Bronc stomper deluxe-rears, kicks, might bite. Has Alzheimer's-have to start all over each day. Husband got kicked in knee, struck in face, then had a heart attack. Wife mad and thinks horse might be a candidate for dog food can. Can catch and may load in stock trailer. No coggins as we like our vet too much to injure him. Got anything to trade?? Must sign disclaimer against possible injury. Horse is in round pen waiting for you COWBOY! This is not a joke or written to be funny.

852-9233 please text or email


HAHAHAHAHA!

Okay...the joke.

What do you get if you cross a donkey with an onion?

Most of the time you just get an onion with really long ears, but every once in a while, you get a piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The Breaking Point

A nun walked into the Mother Superior's office and plunked down into a chair. She let out a sigh heavy with frustration.

'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'

'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not totally relaxing?'

'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'

'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!'

'Well, we were on the fifth tee... and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green....and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight!'

'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'

'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'

'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.

'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.

'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

'You missed the fuckin' putt, didn't you?'

BADMINTON

This video is really fun. The photographer (an amazing guy and talent) has put his still photos to music, giving the idea of a video, but with the tempo and impact of a strobe light.

Kinda cool.





The photographer's name is Will Baxter.

The art of riding is keeping the horse between you and the ground.

This guy has it down perfectly.

REAL Gangnam Style! UPDATED - the Youngest Fan Dances!

In the video seen by over a billion people, mostly to point and laugh and dance around in circles while laughing hysterically, the singer does a really horrible attempt at the "pony". There are several shots in a stable, just so you understand what the jumping around is supposed to be.

Well, this guy shows you how horses REALLY move.

Now THAT's style.

*******************

UPDATED! HAHAHAHAHA!

This is the THIRD FOURTH time I have re-inserted this video. I am getting annoyed pissed.

This is why we have the Super Bowl

So men in this country don't have to do stupid shit like this to prove their manhood.

Cause you just KNOW that this is eventually going to happen to him.

I'm rooting for the crocodile. Kinda like rooting for the home team. And in the game today, I'm rooting for the 9er's. They're the home team 'round these parts.

HAVE A MASSIVE TACO-FUELED PARTY, EVERYONE! 

NO VEGETABLE PLATTERS! 

Game Changer

Sometimes you just gotta dance.

This horse decides to go "off course" and jazz things up a bit when he hears the music. He's got the moves...like Jagger.

What a naughty pony.

"...but the best thing about him was his eye."

The most incredible horse to ever live.

I watched him win the Belmont as a very young girl. I had been around horses my whole life, but I really only knew that it was fun to go fast and that my horse loved it as much as I. What I saw that day was that it was more than fun. It was -- to the horse -- his entire reason for being. Secretariat was a horse who vibrated with his own tremendous power. A horse who knew, as every horse does, what it means to run, to fly, but who was given the special gift of exemplifying it for all of us mere humans.

How wondrous. How simple. To do what you were meant to do.

I remember standing in my living room, because one could not sit as they watched that race, and crying...sobbing...laughing. All of it. Even a young child knows when they witness a miracle.

Happy New Year everyone. Let's look for miracles in 2013.

How do you describe perfection?

One of the greatest ladies in sports.

Zenyatta.

Good Lord is right.

I think this little bit of athletic wizardry speaks for itself. Except for the, "Good Lord," of course which was entirely necessary. The announcer exercised enormous restraint in using that phrase. I'm sure, though, that later in the locker room, the young man's coach did not.

It feels just like it looks....exhilarating!

A compilation of horses running the cross country portion of Eventing at the summer games in England. Eventing is a sport in the truest sense of the word. It is a test of skill, courage, strength, training, athleticism, and, perhaps more than any other sport, teamwork. To forge a partnership with an animal who will willingly carry you over obstacles and terrain that are challenging, exhausting, yes, even sometimes dangerous, is an amazing feeling.

People do get injured. Often. Horses as well, it must be said. There is great risk in this sport. But that is what makes it all about living.

Kick ON!

Today is the day.

"No matter what the stats may say, and the experts may think, and the commentators may have predicted, when the race is on, all bets are off. Don't be surprised if somebody decides to flip the script and take a pass on yelling, "Uncle!" And then suddenly, as the old saying goes, "We got ourselves a game!"

The race is on, kittens. Let's win this thing.


H/T: Top Notch Commenter RG

May the best horse win.

Today was the Breeders Cup Classic, the richest horse race in Thoroughbred racing.

At 5:45 or so, the camera focuses on the horse's trainer, Ian Wilkes. Beside him is a woman, probably his wife, who so reminds me of myself. Not in looks, but in behavior. I would be just like that if my horse were winning -- arms pumping, screaming, clapping, jumping up and down. Yeah!

If your heart is racing, your breathing is ragged, you're screaming, "Oh, God!" over and over, and the whole thing only lasts around 2 minutes...it's probably a horse race.

When your best just isn't good enough

I think we can safely assume that no amount of government funding would have helped this woman make the Olympics.

But I'm betting she's going to need Obamacare.

"If you've got your tickets, please be smiling from ear to ear. I don't want to have to start singing."

LeeAnn at Look! A Baby Wolf! posted this video, and with all the ho-hum-who-cares I've heard concerning the Olympics this year, this lady is better than perfect. She's pure keen.

Yes, thank youuuuu, sin-gle la-dee...One person has responded... 

When my kids were small, my threat to break out in song was a punishment only meted out for the most serious of infractions.  The rest of the time I just did it for malicious delight. When I sang to the radio in the car, my daughter, ever the dramatic, would throw herself sideways in her carseat until her little body looked broken, arms limp and yet still struggling weakly in a vain attempt to pull herself to freedom. "Stop with the singing, Mommy! Stop with the singing!"

Begging gets you nowhere. I would turn the volume down on Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody so I could give it all I had virtually a cappella, "I see a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the Fandango?! Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me! Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Figaro - magnifico-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!"

Tell me to stop singing. I can make it hurt.

The Olympics - Where Sport Is About Posturing, Politics and Placating

Apparently, in the one event ON THE PLANET where sportsmanship and good fellowship are supposed to be the freaking point, we now have teams who play to lose and others who won't even BE in the same gym as another team.

Rachel Lucas has all the mind-numbing, head-twisting, thumbs-jammed-into-your-eyes stupidity of the current Olympic Games summed up in one brilliant post.

I miss all the fuss, normally. The equestrian sports are all I care about, and the Chinese, Koreans, Lebanese etc., don't do squat in that area of sport. They're more likely to eat the horse than ride it. Is that racist? Well, considering what these dumbasses are doing to the Olympic Games, I don't care. Bad sports, losers, and anti-Semites are not people I give a damn about. Hurt their feelings?  Oooooh, boo hoo.