Tuesday, January 15, 2013

A gun control conversation with a liberal.

Liberal: Guns are dangerous! For your own safety, we need to make them illegal.

Conservative: I appreciate your concern for my safety, but I'm okay. I'm not afraid of guns, thank you. I actually like guns. They are very safe when you know what you're doing. I've never actually seen a gun attack anyone.

Liberal: Well, it's not you that matters. Societies with guns are violent. People can't be trusted.

Conservative: Really? Which people can't be trusted? All people?

Liberal: Bad people.

Conservative: You mean people who don't obey the law.

Liberal: Yes.

Conservative: Okay. So we should make a law to prevent bad people from getting guns.

Liberal: Yes.

Conservative: Don't we already have laws for that?

Liberal: They don't work.

Conservative: Because bad people don't pay attention to the law.

Liberal: Yes. Exactly!

Conservative: So if we just make more laws, they will finally pay attention, is that it?

Liberal: Your humor is not appreciated. If no one has guns, then guns can't fall into the wrong hands.  Criminals get a hold of guns that were legally purchased.

Conservative: So...criminals who broke the law to find guns, won't break the law to find guns if you make it harder for them to find guns. Right?

Liberal: Yes. That's exactly right.

Conservative: So...if something is legal and easy to get, then if you make it illegal, criminals have no way of getting it. Right?

Liberal: Yes. That's exactly right.

Conservative: Like drugs.

Liberal: What?

Conservative: You know, illegal drugs. I don't have any. I can't get any. They are really, really hard to get. So criminals must not be able to get illegals drugs either.

Liberal: Oh...shut up.


  1. Yep, this is pretty much it. Nothing ever sinks in with them. They refuse to see clearly and I've given up trying to help them. My liberal friends can be the slaves they wish to be for all I care anymore...

    1. My developing theory is that the liberal mind set is one principally driven by fear. When we (the conservatives) joke that liberals are like little children, I think that is much closer to the truth than just humorous. And like children, who know they're vulnerable and therefore need the reassurance and protection of adults around them, liberals need the reassurance of power (government). Also, you can't make someone give up their fear by logic or reason. Fear is irrational. And it's largely uncontrollable.

      But as we grow into adults, even the liberal knows on some level that it is inappropriate to be so fearful, so they hide it behind words of altruism and moral imperatives. It's for the children. It's for the downtrodden. It's for someone ELSE. Never for them. They're fine, it's just that they care so much for "others" that they believe in the need for all this control of "others" and all this protection.

      And if you don't care enough for "others" to relinquish your adulthood to their childish fears, then you're just a big bad meany mean person who kicks dogs and yells at kids.

      You can't win because you can never win when you're fighting fear. They either grow up or they don't. You can't make them do it. Unfortunately, when there are enough of them, they CAN make you live in their childish world.

    2. HAHAHAHA! I had to copy and delete that comment TWICE just to correct one mistake. I kept hitting publish instead of preview.

      Whatever. Typos are me.

    3. "...then you're just a big bad meany mean person who kicks dogs and yells at kids."
      You say that like it's a bad thing, Buttercup.
      Liberals seem to believe that if they close their eyes really tight, then the bad guys of the world can't see them. No amount of talking, logic, or presenting of facts will make them change their mind.
      Even if the citizenry gave up their guns, so goblins could not steal guns from civilians, they would steal them from cops, either their homes, or the cars, or from their dead bodies. Or, they would steal them from National Guard armories, or they would hijack truck loads of firearms and/or ammo from trucks between the manufacturer and a military base. Criminals will always get guns, no matter what. Or, criminals who are machinists can manufacture their own guns, and then sell them on the black market (was that racist?). And, do not forget the cops that are crooked, or soldiers that are criminal. Being a cop or a soldier does not make one an angel or honest, or incorruptible.
      Ban guns - a simple solution for simple minds. But, it won't work, any more than when the League of Nations outlawed war. That worked out really well, didn't it?

    4. when the League of Nations outlawed war.

      Wait...it didn't?

    5. Actually, it did. All that World War 2 thing was a figment of the collective imagination of the paranoid right. ;-)

    6. Thank GOD! I thought I was going to have to scrape off my "WAR NEVER SOLVED ANYTHING" bumper sticker.