Sunday, October 14, 2012

A Tale of Two Cities

When discussing a controversial story, it is frequently necessary to remember that there are two sides to consider. In the fast-paced complexity of everyday life, this "two sides" principle can remind us that things are often more complicated than they at first appear and that the truth may be somewhat elusive. However in politics, this "two sides" principle can be applied in all circumstances to instantly reduce any potentially complex issue to the straightforward simplicity of the "good side belongs to the Democrat" and the "bad side belongs to the Republican." Always.

This concept is remarkably easy to apply. Allow me to demonstrate.

A Tale of Two Cities.

Both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney came from a background of privilege. Both men enjoyed an Ivy League education and the advantages of association and opportunity these educations afforded them. Both men have made millions. But one is clearly "good"; the other clearly "bad."

Can you guess which is which?

When Obama was in his righteous youth and having difficulty paying off his student loans because of his otherworldly commitment to those without, he nevertheless found it impossible to actually LIVE in the poverty-stricken Chicago neighborhoods that he was so dedicated to fighting for, instead choosing to commute a considerable distance every day to live in the swank Chicago suburb of Hyde Park. 

This was not because he didn't care. He did. He's a Democrat.

When Mitt and Ann Romney were raising their family and building a business, they choose to live in Belmont Hills, MA., a nice neighborhood "where the residences are large and the yards spacious." So not only was Romney not fighting for the poor, he wasn't living among them! 

This was because he didn't care. At all. He's a Republican.

Do you see the difference between these two men? The difference is not where they went to school, their background, accomplishments, character or beliefs. The only difference necessary to determine whether someone is a good or bad person is whether they are a Democrat or a Republican. One dedicated a year or two of his life fighting for people he wouldn't live anywhere near in order to opportunistically launch a political career, while the other spent decades taking risks and building businesses that actually gave jobs to those lower and middle-class people. 

Clearly Romney chose not to live among the poor because he is elitist and privileged, while Obama chose not to live among the poor because he is just that wonderful. 

Now if this doesn't make any sense to you, and just trying to understand it makes you feel like this:

then you must be a Republican. And you don't care either, so I'm glad you just got hit in the head with a basketball.

Mean old Republican.

Oh, and you're obviously raaaaaaacist, too.

Republican is code for racist.


He's not like us. He's a Republican.

Need I say more?


  1. I'm a libertarian and frankly I'm sick to death of the Republicans and the Democrats and all their caring. I'll take respect over caring, any day.

    1. You and me both. I HATE the term compassionate conservatism. But I do think it is important to elect men who are good men. I just don't want them to govern based on compassion.

      There is no place for compassion in government. Compassion can only be voluntary, or it is corrupted. Government is never voluntary - it is force.

      As H.L. Mencken said, "The urge to save humanity is always a front for the urge to rule humanity."

  2. Love the bonked cheerleader.

    Tiny correction - Hyde Park is a Chicago neighborhood, not a suburb. Unless it's referring to Oak Park, which is a suburb.

    1. I've only been to the Chicago area a few times in my life and I absolutely hated it, so I am not knowledgeable about neighborhoods within the city and suburbs outside the city.

      You can have Chicago. I agree with the joke about how Chicago was founded. People were sitting around in New York saying, "Yes, we have crime and corruption...but it just isn't cold enough...." Hence, Chicago.

    2. And the bonked cheerleader is delicious. I was a cheerleader - back in the day - and there were a couple girls on the squad that I would have PAID someone for that shot.


  3. Reminds me of an SNL skit. A financial planner is going to homes and offering his new age form of finance to keep people from getting mired in debt.

    IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT, DON'T BUY IT! The homeowners go through a dozen different scenarios:
    So if I don't have any money, but I want a new car, what do I do? "DON'T BUY IT!"
    But what if I really like it? "DON'T BUY IT!"
    What if it is blue and that is my favorite color? "DON'T BUY IT!"
    What if I have $3000 in my checking account. Can I buy a used car for $2995 if I really need it?" "YES, BUY IT!"
    What if I just lost my job and have little money. Can I buy a hot tub? "NO, DON'T BUY IT!"
    It is hilarious.