Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Crystal Ball Stuff

Stole this from Frank J. and IMAO. 
So what happens after the election? Well, if Mitt Romney is elected, then Obama will have effectively been fired. He’ll be given two weeks notice and told to pack up his stuff. If he dawdles at all, he’ll be tasered and dragged from the premises. And with Michelle Obama gone, candy dishes will once again be put out in the various rooms of the White House and the place will become flooded with fat kids. And then Romney will move in and they’ll teach him how to input his kill list into the predator drones. And then business will start creating jobs as they were waiting for Obama to leave as they didn’t want him to take credit.
If Obama is reelected, though, he’ll declare himself to be the first president ever reelected and thus the greatest president ever. The media won’t fact check him on this. Then he’ll celebrate by eating Bo as there is nothing anyone can do about him now. 
 Read the rest. Good stuff.

Let me add my two cents worth.

If Romney is elected I will have to bind up my lady parts because no one is going to pay me for using them anymore. Black people will have to get used to being slaves again, and Grandma better not let that nice young Mr. Ryan push her wheelchair anywhere. We will all choke to death on toxic air and, as we simply keel over and die in the streets, no one will do anything but step over our pathetic bodies. Even if someone drags us to a hospital, they won't do anything because Republicans like watching people die.They might pray for us, though.

If Obama wins we will have unpolluted air because no one will have cars, and the few who do won't have any gas, but if anyone DOES have gas, it will be from clean ethanol so that polar bears can live, which is a good thing because ethanol is made from food, so people will die. If Obama wins, we will be safe from terrorism unless we, personally, become that "bump in the road", and the ocean will finally recede (after it gets through pummeling the East Coast).  If Obama wins I will finally lose those pesky five pounds that have been bothering me because I won't be allowed to binge on Flaming Hot Cheetos.

And we will FINALLY be a nation that is PROVEN not to be racist because we will have elected the most incompetent, divisive, anti-American asshole ever to hold office - AGAIN. Now THAT is affirmative action IN action right there, kittens.

And I don't care whether you think that's code or not.

1 comment:

  1. Well, crap. I thought sure there weren't enough people living in fantasyland yet.