They say there are early warning signs in serial killers.

You decide.

Two little girls. Two giant voices. Same song. By the way, does every soprano in a talent contest sing "O mio babbino caro"? Just asking. And every SINGLE tenor sings "Nessun dorma" from Puccini's Turandot. Or it certainly seems that way.

So which one is your favorite?

Jackie Evancho, ten years old 

Amira Willighagen, nine years old

H/T: The Smallest Minority

I don't care how hot it is, everyone should NOT wear a bikini

Seven days in Hawaii and I am completely over the idea that anyone should be able to just go ahead and wear a bikini. No. This is insane. The only women who can wear a bikini are under 30 and/or have personal trainers. Everybody else? Please show a little restraint and wear a classic one piece. They can look lovely and I don't have to avert my eyes. I have seen more cracks, rolls and hideous bulges than I can count. A sales girl tried to sell me a bikini. I weigh 115lbs but there is still no way you're getting me in a bikini again.  

She said, "You're in Hawaii.  I have 300 lb friends who wear them."

I replied, "They shouldn't."

No one wants to see that. 

The last scary post....Then I'm off for warmer, happier places. You all stay safe now, ya hear?

A marine tells his local community what is going on. Is anyone paying attention?

This might alarm you for a moment because the gentleman certainly has a background and the connections to speak with authority, but then again it is so very, very easy, and rather attractive, to push it aside as utterly impossible. This is America. Things like that do not happen here. They happen in Argentina. They happen in Cuba. They happen in Russia. They happen in Germany. They happen in Italy. They happen in just about every nation in Africa. But they do not happen here!

But then there's this:

On Saturday, Terry M. Hestilow, a retired United States Army Captain from Fort Worth, Texas, posted a letter on Facebook that he wrote to Sen. John Cornyn, R-Texas, warning that the Department of Homeland Security is preparing to go to war with the citizens of the United States.

"It is with gravest concern that I write to you today concerning the recent appropriation of weapons by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) that can only be understood as a bold threat of war by that agency, and the Obama administration, against the citizens of the United States of America," his letter began.

But to reassure you, if any of this is beginning to sound a little scary, I must remind you of how our Bestest Ever President Peace Prize cautioned us:

So don't worry your little heads about any of this. President Peevish has told us that we should just trust them...or we're going to have some real problems.

Federal Police in Grand Junction, CO

Today this was posted on my Facebook wall by a friend. It was accompanied by his written statement of what happened.

So, as I was about to park, I saw this vehicle, so I quickly got out of my car and took a picture as it drove by. As the driver saw me do this, he slammed on the brakes, and asked, "Do you have a problem?" To which I replied, "Just taking a picture. Is that illegal now?" He then eeked forward a few feet and stayed there in the middle of the road for about a minute and a half until a car approached him from behind, forcing him to move... This, ladies and gentlemen, is a FEDERAL POLICE FORCE. Here. In Grand Junction. Feel safe yet?

BOO!

Only I'm not kidding and this is really getting scary.

Speaking of laughing at scary stuff....

First, the laughter.

Heh...almost too true to be REALLY funny. I'm mostly just enjoying the hell out of the searing, wrenching, unicorn-decimating, teddy-bear-destroying PUMMELING the dreams of the moist-eyed liberals are taking. That's gotta hurt. And it's scary, too, huh...precious? Real life is scary for babies and widdle kiddies.

Here's just one example of how scary real life is going to be under Obamacare. BOO!

Hauntings, Halloween, and Hawaii

My husband and I will be on the island of Kaui for the next week, so we will be spending Halloween in Hawaii. Not very spooky. Last year we were in Maui just before Halloween and one restaurant, the Pineapple Grill, saw fit to provide a little tacky thrill to the diners.

Aloha, you little goblins!

The only thing that would have scared me was if they said they were out of rum!

But this year we will be there on Halloween. SPOOOOOOKY! Okay, I realize that trying to make Hawaii scary is a stretch (may I enter the picture above into evidence, Your Honor?), but I love Halloween and will miss not celebrating it at all this year.

So because I won't be posting for the next week, and won't be celebrating Halloween at all, but WILL be throwing back Mai Tias like a sailor, here's a little video that is guaranteed to put some serious SPOOK in even the most rational, skeptical, cynical, close-minded sober person out there.

Explain this! I dare you.

Now that's some really spooky shit, if you ask me.

More details/speculation/video/flat out crazy stuff here.

Just for the record, I've had more than enough encounters with weird/paranormal/supernational/crazy-ass-WTF stuff in my own life that watching this makes the hair crawl on the back of my neck and gives me a goose-bump chill.Thankfully nothing I've experienced ended in death, though.  But if/when it finally does, I'm hoping for this...

What good is death if you can't get a little joke or two out of it?


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I can't say it any better.

So I'm stealing -- in its entirety -- the letter from Congressman Tom McClintock explaining the recent government shutdown.

Facts are stubborn things.

Dear Friends,

This nation has gone through 18 government shutdowns in the last 37 years. Fifteen of those 18 shutdowns occurred when Democrats controlled the House. In those 15 shutdowns, the Democrats demanded increased abortion services and labor and environmental policy concessions.

Perhaps the reason we don’t remember those shutdowns as vividly is because in those days, presidents negotiated around the clock to resolve the disputes that caused them and did everything they could to minimize the public’s inconvenience and suffering.

This time was different. This time, the President refused to negotiate and took unprecedented steps to amplify the pain and suffering that the public endured.

Why would the administration do this? They told us why – because they were winning politically.  

What was the outrageous Republican demand that Democrats refused even to discuss during the 16-day shutdown while they ordered our public servants to make life as difficult as possible for people?

On September 30th, with the deadline just hours away, House Republicans had dropped all conditions to fund the entire government with one substantive exception: delay the individual mandate that forces people to buy policies against their will. Democrats summarily rejected this proposal and for 16 days refused to negotiate on this single point, while literally accusing Republicans of sedition.

Then this past Monday, the President’s Press Secretary made this stunning admission: the Obama administration may itself seek to delay the individual mandate by dropping the penalty for non-compliance.

They’ve got to be kidding.

For the 16 days of the shutdown, the only substantive dispute was the Republican plea to delay the individual mandate for the millions of Americans who couldn’t find or afford Obamacare policies.

Doing so could have ended the impasse instantly. During those 16 days, it was clear to everyone that the exchanges weren’t working. Yet the President and Congressional Democrats refused even to discuss the matter, while they turned their formidable propaganda machine to the task of winning politically.

These facts speak for themselves and need no embellishment from me. John Adams once observed that “Facts are stubborn things.” As passions cool and reason resumes its rightful place in the nation’s discourse, these facts will speak eloquently and stubbornly of what happens when politics trumps policy and propaganda trumps reality. 

Sincerely,

Tom McClintock

The Only Thing You Will Get Fired For in the Obama Administration

No, it isn't corruption.

And it isn't incompetence.

And it isn't perjury.

And it isn't just breaking the law.

The only thing, it seems, that will get you fired from The O Team is not spewing the party propaganda in support of President Prissy Pants. Say something critical and you're booted off the island.

A couple of days ago, we learned that a Jofi Joseph, an official in the National Security Staff in the White House was dismissed for a series of scathing tweets that were less than laudatory about Big O and his merry band of thieves, and today we learn that an Obamacare telephone operator was canned after speaking with Sean Hannity on his radio program and admitting that not many people cared for Obamacare.

Really? People being fired because they speak the truth. And here I sit waiting for people who LIE to get fired. Oh well....

Color me shocked...which is an obvious, high-pitched dog whistle racist comment because, you know, "color"...helllllooooooo.

I suppose we can all be grateful that we live in a country where you only lose your job for being honest when it displeases Beloved Leader. There ARE countries where you lose your life.

We're not there yet.

Stay tuned.

I am lying to you. Period.

As the massively awesome rollout for the Affordable Healthcare Act proceeds with all the efficiency and amazing technological expertise that can be had for close to a half a billion dollars from the world's best and brightest because government...let us all take a few moments and remember these words promises lies--

 Got that? You likey, you keepy.

You wanty, you gotty.

It's that simple.

Honest. Period.

Except for this.

And this.

Oh...and this.

OOPSIE...there's this.

Oh, shut UP!

Healthcare.gov is awesome!

What a moron! I forgot to give this post a title. Now, I don't even really care...so there's your title. Whatever. SHEEEESH! How many letters are in stupid again?

**********************************

Peace Prize and his crack team of experts have just accomplished such a spectacular, mind-blowingly awesome healthcare launch to his HISTORIC legislation, the Affordable Care Act, that people are cheering in the streets and hugging each other with joy. They are honking their horns and waving blindly to strangers, each filled with an inexpressible desire to just connect, you know...to share this moment...to honor each others' stories...to be a part of...

Wait...what? That's not happening? The deuce, you say! So what IS happening? Jon Stewart has awakened to the hilarious -- and alarming -- reality.

As the saying goes, when you've lost Jon Stewart...

In Obama's case, he's not only lost Jon Stewart, he's now seriously cutting into his 47% hard deck of voters.   His approval rating has dropped to 44.5%. Consider, kittens, that this means this president is so god-awful that people who vote for a living don't like him. These are people who NEED government and even they are saying, "The guy stinks."

'Course, they will still vote for him. They might not like him, but he's still the only game in their town.

A horse is a horse...of course...of course....

Unless it's an ass.

On CraigsList, we find horses who dearly need a good home, preferably with someone who only wants to feed and pet them. Working for a living is not part of the deal, apparently.

Miserable, cantankerous horse for sale - $1400 (New Haven) 

Meet Rotten Banana. My wife named him that before he was born 7 years ago, and for that reason I believe she is a true psychic medium.

Rotten Banana's father was a registered Paint we owned, who was a valiant sweetheart of a horse but was ugly as sin. His mother is an evil wench, but is built like a brick house and is afraid of nothing. We thought the breeding might give us a valiant sweetheart who was built like a brick house. Instead, we got.....Rotten Banana. (This reminds me of a joke.)

Banana has a lot of.....personality. He has great ground manners. He loves attention. He is probably the best horse I have ever seen about picking up his feet. My 6 year old daughter can lead him anywhere.

And that's where the good stuff ends, so....maybe stop reading here?

Still reading? Dammit.

Rotten Banana is very broke to ride and has hundreds of trail miles. Like his mom, he is afraid of nothing. He will go through brooks, mud, trees and not miss a step.

If he wants to.

If he doesn't want to, he won't do anything. Literally.

If you want to ride, he will just stand there. Whip and spur all you want, the best you will get is a half-hearted buck and a grunt. (The very reputable natural horsemanship trainer I paid $900 to work on this became as exasperated as i was.). If you want to put him on a trailer, and he doesn't want to get on it, he will go backwards. Quickly. If you want to put a bridle on him, he will actually point his nose to the sky like a timberwolf. When you are not looking, he will either steal the hat off your head with his teeth, or grab your shirt and give you a tug.

In short, he is an ass.

So, if you're looking for a project horse with lots of miles left in him- ta da! Here he is.
Someone with time could actually make a horse out of him. That person is not me.

 *********************************************

And here's another dearly loved family member needing a good home. One with pasture and carrots and apples and nary a saddle or bridle around.

POS AQHA Gelding Sorrel - $200 (St. Hedwig)

POS AQHA sorrel gelding-5 years old. Bronc stomper deluxe-rears, kicks, might bite. Has Alzheimer's-have to start all over each day. Husband got kicked in knee, struck in face, then had a heart attack. Wife mad and thinks horse might be a candidate for dog food can. Can catch and may load in stock trailer. No coggins as we like our vet too much to injure him. Got anything to trade?? Must sign disclaimer against possible injury. Horse is in round pen waiting for you COWBOY! This is not a joke or written to be funny.

852-9233 please text or email


HAHAHAHAHA!

Okay...the joke.

What do you get if you cross a donkey with an onion?

Most of the time you just get an onion with really long ears, but every once in a while, you get a piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

On A Lighter Note

When all hope is lost and you're spiraling downward into the abyss of America's "fundamental transformation", my incredibly mature and intelligent response is to watch funny videos.

If anyone has a better idea, I'm all ears.

In the meantime, I'm watching things that make me laugh.

I know that people always make the argument that conservatives are dogs and liberals are cats because people like dogs and cats are assholes, but I think it is exactly the opposite.

Cats are conservatives.

They are intractably independent.
They never apologize for success.
They feel superior to dogs.
They don't need anyone to take care of them. They don't need anyone. Period.
They don't need a lot of rules. Hell, they don't follow them, anyway.
And they are always armed.

Dogs are liberals.

They are collectivists at heart.
They bark alot. Often for no reason.
They follow rules.
They are only really dangerous when traveling in packs.
They whine.
They are the original environmentalists as they are always eating cat poop. Which pretty much settles who is superior.

The End.

I'm betting not one of these people would identify as Teabaggers.

Steven Wright once said that depression is just anger without enthusiasm, so the emotional conflict warring within me from watching this video makes me wish I could ask someone else to slap the living shit out of people before sliding into catatonic oblivion.

My first inclination as I watch is to surrender to utter, soul-crushing depression for the sheer stupidity displayed by the people being asked to sign the petition. But then the enormity of their collectivist retardation arouses nothing short of vase-throwing rage in me, which is pretty enthusiastic, I'll admit.

The solution is to abandon myself to sweet, listless despondency while knowing that proper and well-deserved punishment is being meted out.

Never Go Full Retard used to be a funny line from a movie. Now it has become unheeded advice for an entire nation.

Unheeded.

That word deserves to be repeated.

In unrelated news, Teabaggers are smarter than anyone thought.

Go figure.



H/T: Fellowship of the Minds

When us doesn't mean you.

Or me.

In fact, "us" only really means them.

Government is never really inclusive, and the more power it arrogates for itself, the less inclusive it is. Power never shares.

This is an uncomfortable realization for those who cling fervently to the childish hope that if they only vote for the correct candidate, they will be assured a seat at the table, sharing in the largesse and privilege of power, tossing back champagne and nibbling on medallions of lobster in tarragon cream sauce.

But they can't even get into their own parks now. That's a bit of a rude awakening, isn't it, kittens?

While we all witness the harsh reality of what government actually is, it is instructive to remember the misty-eyed descriptions of soft, gooey goodness Democrats told us it was only a short time ago. Does anyone remember this?

"Don't it feel GREAT to belong to the government!" 

Not really. 

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgewash118164.html#vSLUHR4Zm57CZFoS.99

 

There is hope for America yet.....