Seven days in Hawaii and I am completely over the idea that anyone should be able to just go ahead and wear a bikini. No. This is insane. The only women who can wear a bikini are under 30 and/or have personal trainers. Everybody else? Please show a little restraint and wear a classic one piece. They can look lovely and I don't have to avert my eyes. I have seen more cracks, rolls and hideous bulges than I can count. A sales girl tried to sell me a bikini. I weigh 115lbs but there is still no way you're getting me in a bikini again.
She said, "You're in Hawaii. I have 300 lb friends who wear them."
I replied, "They shouldn't."
No one wants to see that.
ReplyDeleteI wanna be this guy when I'm 86:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/262268/?image=262269
Lambert, that was wrong on every level....even knee level.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHA!
Lambert, as well as tricking me into going to have a look at that link, it would appear you also hid the eye bleach and the 'unsee' button. Arrrrggghhh!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the heads up...but I was too curious and had to look. I know you tried.
DeleteI'm with you, Joy. Even though I weigh 122, there is no goddamn way I'm wearing a bikini. It's about age and tone and that's the breaks, folks.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, are you back now? Holla at me woman.
Nailed it. It's about age and tone. Period. It's not about weight...or it's not JUST about weight. Only movie stars and teen-ager/twenty-somethings can look great in bikinis. Everyone else is just kidding themselves and no one else is laughing. It ain't funny. It's hard on the eyes, and after a day of that, you REALLY need a drink. HAHAHA!
Deletehey, when the Ogwife is in a bikini she would NEVER go outdoors- but I still like it fine. You might not want to display your wares- so to speak- to the world, but don't forget there's someone who sleeps six inches from you that probably still loves to see you like that.
DeleteOf course. And knowing that while I'm no longer the hottest little thing in a thong anymore the fact that he still loves me makes it altogether wonderful.
DeleteBut at the pool or on the beach, no one else there loves me nor has EVER loved me nor remembers what I used to look like. HA!
115lbs? You're killing me!
ReplyDeleteIf I was even 125, like 10yrs ago, I would wear bikini and you bet I'll look great. It's all about the belly tone - and why, do you think, I do Pilates?
Ahhhhh, Pilates! That is FABULOUS! But I don't do it anymore because I'm lazy. I did Pilates religiously after each pregnancy and got into shape faster than any other exercise EVER. Long, lean muscle tone.
DeleteI'm going to break out my DVD.....:)