HOW DID HE LIMIT HIMSELF TO FIVE?

Well, Polonius did say brevity is the soul of wit. Jonah Goldberg proves his words true as he narrows down the countless cliches of liberals (do they argue in anything ELSE?) to a mere five.

One of the great differences between conservatives and liberals is that conservatives will freely admit that they have an ideology. We’re kind of dorks that way, squabbling over old texts like Dungeons and Dragons geeks, wearing ties with pictures of Adam Smith and Edmund Burke on them.

But mainstream liberals from Franklin Roosevelt to Barack Obama — and the intellectuals and journalists who love them — often assert that they are simply dispassionate slaves to the facts; they are realists, pragmatists, empiricists. Liberals insist that they live right downtown in the “reality-based community,” and if only their Republican opponents weren’t so blinded by ideology and stupidity, then they could work with them.

Good stuff. Pour yourself a lovely bourbon, like Woodford Reserve, and enjoy.