Friday, June 7, 2013

Terrorists only use airplanes.

That's why the TSA needs to spend billions of dollars feeling up little kids who are flying to Disneyland for all of us to be completely safe. Everyone knows that terrorists would NEVER just walk across the border. They always use airplanes. So we must be vigilant. But we must not profile in our vigilance because that would be racist.

Also, we have no freaking clue who we are looking for anyway, so we might as well let the TSA agents get some thrills every day. What can it hurt?


7 comments:

  1. My 64-year-old mother got hassled on her way to and from Italy last month, because of her knee replacement hardware. Un fucking believable - they pulled her aside and swiped her up and down.

    A 64-YEAR-OLD WHITE HAIRED AMERICAN GRANDMA HAS NEVER, EVER, EVER, NEVER COMMITTED A TERRORIST ACT BEFORE. But be sure to hassle all such women anyway. Because security.

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    1. We were flying right after 9/11, about a month or so afterward, and when we checked in the agent told me I had been selected for "extra" scrutiny. Randomly, of course. I told her it was ridiculous to believe turning every American into a criminal on 9/12 was going to make any of us safer. A damn sight less free...but safe? Not likely.

      Now I just insist on a patdown. Starts my vacation off right. HAHAHAHA

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  2. I wonder if you carried a Koran prominently if they'd just wave you through. Wouldn't want to be accused of profiling would they?

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    1. I think it would be fun to wear a full black garbage bag, complete with just two eyes holes cut out - like some shitty Halloween costume made by a kid, carry a Koran, and keep saying - loudly, "Allahu Akbar!...HAKA HAHA!...DERKA! DERKA!!"

      Then INSIST on a patdown. Demand it.

      HAHAHAHAHA!

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  3. From its very beginning the TSA was never about the security of Americans. It was deliberately invented to control people, not to protect people.

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  4. If you want to see security done right, see how the Israelis do it. They unapologetically use profiling, and it works.

    They are also highly trained in watching for body language, which also works well.

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    1. THAT!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

      I worked for a major international airline and we ALL knew that El Al was the safest airline to fly. PERIOD. And we all knew it was because they profiled the living shit out of their passengers. Fine. Good. GREAT!

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