But we all know that, don't we, kittens? Leonard has pointed out my inexcusable eff up in the comments below and...well...of course he's right and of course I screwed up this entire post because I was too lazy to check my email for the proper link to the joke before throwing this together. See what happens when I don't write anything for so long that I feel guilty as hell and then hurry to produce something without really attending to details...or even paying attention? It all goes to shit.
If it interests you, this is how I typically tell jokes, too. Jump in...wander around forgetting the story line AND the punch line...until everyone is laughing AT me and not WITH me.
So BEHOLD! Here is the REAL instrument of
It's a good deal more tidy and looks much safer for rummaging around in tight quarters.
If I had taken the time to get it right, I would also have been able to cut and paste the product description, which is divine.
- 8" long silver-plated ball-scratcher
- Reaches deep into your trousers for itch 'n' scratch relief!
- In a stylish presentation box.
- Gentleman's Ball Scratcher for the busy male executive
- Handheld chrome-effect ball scratcher presented in a deluxe metal case
- Ideal for those hard-to-reach places
- In the shape of a delicate female hand
- 9-inch handle for extra reach
What a remard!
Happy New Year. At least we can all quit worrying that I'm going to develop into anything serious, noteworthy or even remotely successful in 2015. I'm the same remard as I've always been. Reassuring...isn't it?
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Behold!
I can still use "Behold!" because it's only a week past Christmas. My blog. My rules.
I can't even bring myself to name this. You figure it out.
There are no reviews on this handy little gadget. Go figure. But after watching enough baseball games with Farm Boy to guarantee Alzheimer's before 60, I am shocked to realize that men need a specialized tool. I thought their hand was God's invention.
Oh well.
Yeah, but it's steel, engineered, sciencey. Proves how much we've advanced. :)
ReplyDeleteBut now you have to keep track of it. You know...store it somewhere. I think that's a step back.
DeleteIf you lose it, that just means it was time to upgrade to the latest model anyway. Or you could put up a hook so it has a place where it belongs. You could even give it a spot on the pegboard and hang it with the other tools, with the silhouette painted in if you have to deal with people who have trouble putting things back where they go.
DeleteRG, you have put entirely too much thought into this...
DeletePutting too much thought into things is my trademark. :)
DeleteRG, you open my eyes. I have never understood mental processes behind most of men behavior...
ReplyDeleteYou probably don't want to go by me. If there's a standard, I'm pretty sure I'm not it.
DeleteWhen I was taking a statistics class at University, I had a real problem with the concept of the Standard Deviation. The professor asked me what was so hard about it, and I told her I was not a standard deviate. Does that sound familiar, RG?
DeleteOgrrre, I found your comment in my moderation folder. DAMN! WHY does it sometimes DO that with a regular commenter??? WHY?
DeleteSORRY!!!
Ogrrre: Mayyybee, I admit to nothing.
DeleteButtercup: Because Google hates you and wants you to be unhappy. Don't worry though, they're that way with everybody. (I wonder if these a piling up in that folder or if they just especially hate me.)
It is simply a telescoping back scratcher. A man does not need any
ReplyDeletedevice to use for any other function!
(At least that which immediately comes to mind.)
DAMN! You caught me. I was too lazy to search my email to write this little post, so completely effed it up. Here is the correct link:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.co.uk/Ballscratcher-GBSGAD-Gentlemens-Ball-Scratcher/dp/B0010NWP9K/ref=cm_lmf_tit_1
RG: too late for disclaimers! As they say @courtroom dramas: Your Honor, he opened the door.
ReplyDeleteButtercup, re: update: are my eyes play trick on me or the "stylish presentaiton box" is PINK?
Pink it is. But I would imagine that this type of device would appeal to the more aesthetic type anyway...not that there's anything wrong with that.
DeleteThis would be a torture device for werewolves.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA! Or maybe the only thing that ever brought true relief...!
DeleteSorry I screwed things up. Men are never shy about scratching any itch.
ReplyDeleteJust ask any woman! I have an unneutered feral Tomcat at home and
he is more shy about scratching an itch than I am.
LOL! You didn't. You straightened things up. I am awful at acting impulsively, believing I can just pull something out of my hat and it will work. You'd think the trail littered with failures behind me would have taught me something....but nooooooooo!
Delete