Saturday, June 15, 2013

This guy stole my idea so I'm going to fly a plane into the Transamerica building in San Francisco.

My idea was that if the NSA is going to be listening in on every single phone conversation, reading every email, and generally making itself a royal, tyrannical, overbearing, sloppy, stupid, ineffective pain in the ass, then we should all start referencing terrorist acts as often as possible. I think of it as sort of a public service. Otherwise, the rest of the country might get the idea that the federal government is a colossal waste of money. Then the next time President Peace Prize threatens us with the End Of The World because someone somewhere suggests he stop spending so goddamn much money, no one will even look up from Game of Thrones. And that would be bad.

"Sequestration? Is that some kinky new thing that the Queen and her brother are doing?"

H/T: Thanks, Rachel Lucas!!


  1. Did you see the list of terms they monitor for? It's only barely possible to have a conversation that doesn't set off an alarm somewhere.

    Just in case. Have a radioactive plume and remember pirates always keep a weapons grade chemical weapon in their home grown weapons cache full of suspicious substances.

    1. Yesterday I had a fly breach my domestic security even though I have screen doors at my facility for prevention of this threat. We went straight into lockdown in a full state of emergency in preparation for the attack. There was an evacuation of everyone in the kitchen while I contemplated using explosives, calling the police, or just taking the initiative and shooting, the little fucker. After a standoff, I finally decided to SWAT him.

      Oh, and fuck you, NSA.

  2. I just posted this video to my facebook page, along with the link to the list of words, and some of the words. That should keep them busy for a bit.