This guy stole my idea so I'm going to fly a plane into the Transamerica building in San Francisco.

My idea was that if the NSA is going to be listening in on every single phone conversation, reading every email, and generally making itself a royal, tyrannical, overbearing, sloppy, stupid, ineffective pain in the ass, then we should all start referencing terrorist acts as often as possible. I think of it as sort of a public service. Otherwise, the rest of the country might get the idea that the federal government is a colossal waste of money. Then the next time President Peace Prize threatens us with the End Of The World because someone somewhere suggests he stop spending so goddamn much money, no one will even look up from Game of Thrones. And that would be bad.

"Sequestration? Is that some kinky new thing that the Queen and her brother are doing?"

H/T: Thanks, Rachel Lucas!!