A Drunk Kermit Channels Mr. Rogers

Can you spell hy-po-crite? See, I knew you could.

Yes. Go there. Beeeeeeee shameless.

I love how this video zeroes in on Democrats being the hypocrites because that used to be the worst thing Democrats could think of to throw at Republicans before Obama expanded their repertoire of accusations to include haters, clingers, and evil greedy 1%ers who make war on all the women they haven't put in binders yet or pushed over cliffs, and who never EVER hug their garbage men.

Maple Pecan Tart

I hate to take any pleasure in the grand storm that has blown into the California foothills, soaking the earth and demanding a fire in the fireplace, when there is so much devastation on the East Coast from Sandy, but we desperately need the rain and it is hard not to give thanks for the steady downpour.

The change of seasons is the most cyclical rhythm in life. The undulation of birth, growth, harvest and slumber guides our actions, sets our rituals, marks our life events. For me, the seasons are expressed in my kitchen. Virtually everything I cook relates to the time of year.

When the cold sets in and Thanksgiving is just around the corner, this Maple Pecan Tart is simply one of the best things you can prepare. For those of you who, like me, adore pecans, but can't stand the icky sweetness of classic pecan pie with all that corn syrup, this tart is amazing.  Some years ago I had dinner at a restaurant that served a similar tart and was bowled over. I liked it so much that I went back the next day for lunch and ordered it again. Begging and pleading with the chef for the recipe was unsuccessful (though he gave me a slot in his upcoming cooking class where we prepared lobster risotto...and I DID get that recipe!), so I went home and after a number of attempts, came up with this. It's pretty damn close to the perfection of that tart...AND it's easy. Always a plus!

MAPLE PECAN TART

2/3 cup pure maple syrup (if you can find the grade B, often sold in health food stores, it has more flavor)
1/2 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
2 large eggs
2 T. butter, melted
1 T. flour
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 pie crust in a 9-inch tart pan
6 oz (1 1/2 cups) coarsely chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Whisk together first 7 ingredients in medium bowl to blend.  Place unbaked crust in tart pan on baking sheet.  Spread nuts over crust.  Pour filling over.  Bake until filling is set and slightly puffed, about 45 minutes.  Transfer to rack and cool for ten minutes. Then remove outer ring from tart pan and place on serving plate. Serve with ice cream...or whipped cream...or just serve it plain.

Yummy!

Die Happy

The original Mai Tai is nothing like what you are served all over the Hawaiian islands. The only place I've found a REAL Mai Tai is at a little neighborhood spot on the eastern side of Oahu, near Kailua beach, called Buzz's. They make a KILLER Mai Tai. They even warn you that "it's not like typical Mai Tai's. There is no fruit juice in ours."

I said, "Bring me two!"

Unfortunately, on Maui I've had to put up with the orange/pineapple juice concoctions that pass for Mai Tais everywhere. Not bad. Just not great.

Some history of the drink can be found here.

RECIPE

• 1 oz amber Martinique rum
• 1 oz dark Jamaican rum
• 1 oz fresh lime juice
• 1/2 oz orgeat syrup
• 1/2 oz of Cointreau
• garnish with mint (a lime if you like)

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker, except the garnish. Shake and strain into a rocks glass filled with crushed ice. Garnish with fresh mint and a lime if you fancy that. You can also float some dark rum on top of the cocktail.

Dolphins like a good Mai Tai, too. That's why they are always smiling!
Little known fact.

Best Halloween Costume EVAH! UPDATED WITH HONORABLE MENTION!

Some years ago, when my son was in high school and Team America was a fairly recent movie, he decided to "be" Gary. Dark pancake makeup, a black stuffed toy with fake fur destroyed for eyebrows and beard, a big bath towel...and it was UNCANNY!

The funniest part of the whole costume was that, other than the kids who instantly got it, the adults around this sleepy little red-neck infested hamlet did NOT. One guy almost punched my son for dressing up like a terrorist! THAT would not have been funny.

Luckily he escaped after struggling to explain that he was making fun of the terrorists...that it was from a movie...but it was a close call.

 "Aaaaah....derka, derka, derka!"

*****UPDATED!*******

This is the best. My only question. Did he glue his feet to the plastic platform so that he had to walk like the army men in Toy Story? That would be AWESOME!

Happy Halloween!

To all the future Republicans in the world.

Because redistribution is SCARY!

HAHAHAA! Missed Me!

Not YOU, kittens! The shark! The SHARK missed me!  

AND the tsunami.

And the tornado we drove through to get to where the shark and the tsunami awaited us.

View of the storm from our car as we drove to the airport.

 
AND Hurricane Sandy missed my 16 year old daughter who was supposed to be in Washington DC on Monday.

I can't tell whether it's the End Of The World, or just the end of MY world! HAHAHA! And, honestly, the distinction seems a fine point, from my perspective. I'm sure it matters to the rest of you, though.

HOL-EE CRAP! If Romney wasn't leading in the polls right now, I really would be going through cupboards collecting old bottles of half-finished pharmaceuticals and stocking up on Scotch.

I tease. Sort of.

Here's the scariest thing: I have definitely used up all my luck. In one trip. And I expected to have a long life still ahead of me. Looks like that may be a pipe dream at this point.

Another thing. And this IS important. Since I've used up all my luck, I don't think I can single-handedly deliver Romney with my double-hex Yoda voodoo dance, like I intended. So you all will have to step up.

Promise?

Okay..okay...okay...if you can't do the double-hex Yoda voodoo dance, it looks like God's got it covered. There's the White Horse Prophecy. And you know what they call white horses with bayonets...

Unicorns.

Maybe my luck is changing!

I'm back up on top of the world!

I feel a "President Romney" coming on....!

Story Time

This is my last post before heading off on vacation. I just wanted to leave you with a lovely little children's story. Strong Bad celebrates diversity.

Ladies and gentlemen...I give you.....

Here today...gone to Maui

The hubby and I are off to Maui tomorrow, so my postings will be nonexistent for the next 8 days. I would apologize except that no one truly gives a you-know-what. There are so many fabulous writers and blogs out there, y'all be fine without me.

Take care.

I'm going to be swimming with turtles. I do love these creatures.

I snapped this from our boat last year. 

Ke Akua pu a hui hou!

I know it sounds terribly bitchy of me to complain, but I will miss the last presidential debate since we'll be flying at that time. I missed the Ryan/Biden debate because I was on a plane from Portland to Sacramento. How lucky can one person get? Only four debates, and I miss two of them.

I'm special. And not in a good way.

Dead Simple

This advice is particularly easy for me to give. Dead simple.

If you knew me, you'd agree.

"He didn't care. He just brushed it off his shoulders...That's leadership right there."

If you can make it through this entire video without wanting to smash your computer to smithereens, I do not understand you. Of course, for those of you who actually did smash your computer to smithereens, I don't understand you either. HAHA! A little self-control, kittens, even -- especially --  in the face of stupidity of this caliber.

What I am struck by throughout this video is the sweet, smiling, open and eager faces of these young people. They seem genuinely caring. But youthful eagerness coupled with the extraordinary ignorance shown in this video is a potent concoction and is more than troubling - it is damning and conclusive evidence that our universities and our media are so lop-sided in their teaching and portrayal of our political landscape that these kids are frankly being brainwashed.

There is no other explanation.

I'll bet every one of them knows Ann Romney owns an expensive horse.

Not Optimal

Examples of things that were "not optimal."

LIBYAN FOREIGN POLICY

"NOT OPTIMAL"

ISLAMIC HISTORY OF CONQUEST

"NOT OPTIMAL"

CONSTITUTIONAL ABUSE

"NOT OPTIMAL"

AMERICAN SYMBOLS

 "NOT OPTIMAL"

ANNIVERSARY NIGHT

 "NOT OPTIMAL"

SPELLING BEE

"NOT OPTIMAL"

TORTURE AND MURDER OF US DIPLOMATS

REALLY REALLY "NOT OPTIMAL"

Okay, now I am officially creeped out

This starts pretty well and the concept of shadow dancing is cool. But then at around 00:48, the big hand turns one of the dancers into a "dog" and things get weird because the dog looks more like a creature with a strangely deformed calf head on a woman's body than a dog. From that moment on I had visions of The Island of Doctor Moreau as I watched it.

Once that image got into my little pea-brain it was all over. I just kept seeing a weirdly deformed and super creepy half-calf, low-fat vente latte dancing around. I just KNEW if the lights had come up and the dancers could be seen, they would look like this:

So, as I said, I am now officially creeped out.

If you are now too...I'm sorry.

If you're not...what is the matter with you?

When Dreams Come True

Other women dream of jewelry or perhaps couture clothing. I dream of arenas and barns.

Once, while driving through the country, a friend pointed out a particularly sad, dilapidated trailer parked on a lovely piece of property. It was late fall and the skies were heavy with a threatening storm. "Holy crap! Someone lives there. It doesn't look like it could withstand a garden hose, much less a storm. How awful!"

I, however, squealed and pointed at the gorgeous, fabulous, mouth-watering new barn on the property. "That's where they live! Are you kidding? They're in there - no doubt. With their horses! Isn't it AMAZING?"

And it was. Giant, gabled, glorious. Set well back from the road, it commanded attention amid fields that stretched out with the promise of luscious space for horses to gallop. "Who wouldn't live there?" I asked. My friend looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Apparently she wouldn't.

"They just built the barn first. Anyone with horses would do that. Now they will live there while they build their house. It's obvious."

My friend rolled her eyes to convey a wealth of information. "You horse people."

Yeah. Horse people.

So now my dream is becoming reality.

Behold!!! My new arena! Or the beginning of it, anyway.

Yes, kittens. After years and years and years of owning horses and boarding them at show barns and stables, we are finally developing our property into a little horse property.

Complete with road to the arena, since it is located on the backside of our property.

Isn't it pretty? I even love the road!

The guys worked all day yesterday and are coming back today to finish. I love these guys. I really, really do.

More pictures later. They did an amazing job and it was almost entirely finished in one day. Like carving David out of a block of marble. Artists!!

I'm a giggly as a schoolgirl.

Fat boy will finally be able to come home. Of course home is the slums compared to where he lives now, but  I am counting on his love for me to make up the difference. Okay, yeah, he's going to be pissed to move here, but he'll get over it because he's a horse and he doesn't get a vote on the matter.

HAHA!

The Great Debate Strategy

Lifted without shame or regret from A Train Wreck in Maxwell. KurtP always has the best photos for his header.

To be fair, Crowley is plenty big enough to hide behind, so this was an excellent strategy. Way better than showing up unprepared and so last minute that the altitude made him catatonic or something. And it isn't as if Obama isn't used to hiding behind women. There's Hillary, Valerie Jarrett, Michelle. Everyone of them could beat the living tar out of him and not break a nail.

How About We Try Electing a REAL President?

We tried going with the cool kid, but that didn't work. 

—23 Million Unemployed or Underemployed
—47 Million on Food Stamps
—5.5 Million Homes in Crisis/Foreclosure
—$4500 Drop in Household Income
—$5.5 Trillion of New Debt
—$716 Billion in Medicare Cuts
—$2.6 Trillion for Obamacare
—$1.9 Trillion in New Taxes in Obama’s Budget
—100% Increase in Gas Prices 

How about we try electing a real grownup, with a lifetime of real success to be a real president? What's the worst that could happen?