HAHAHAHAHA! I can't even get my husband to do these things. The idea that I could have ever managed to get either of my children to do any of these things is simply hysterical.
Besides, I live in California. If I had even tried to get my kids to do any of these chores, I would have been interviewed by Child Protective Services. In California the little darlings get trophies for everything, have birthday parties where every child in the school is expected to be invited, and you're under performing as a meaningful parent if your precious child isn't scheduled for at least six activities every day after school. Chores? How incredibly plebeian.
But still...it would have been kind of nice to have had a little help.