You can almost SMELL the sizzling goodness of BACON!
HAHAHAHA! I'm kidding...really I am.
Actually, I'm kidding about all of it. Owning them and eating them. Pigs, even pot-bellied pigs, do not stay itty bitty and hilariously cute for very long. They all grow into some level of "what the hell were you thinking?" as they get bigger than you imagined and begin crashing around your house as a pet until all your friends realize that you must be a complete idiot because you OWN A PIG!
When our daughter was in 8th grade she raised a pig for fair. It got big and smelly and frankly disgusting remarkably fast. By the time fair arrived I was counting both the days and the pennies she would make if she sold the damn thing. As the end of the fair neared, with competition over and the euphoria of prizes fading, our daughter realized that this was "THE END." She started to become emotional about THE END until I calmly led her to an area in the hog barn where a local breeder had set up a sow and her piglets. The sow was the size of a FREAKING VOLKSWAGEN! I asked her where she thought something that size could live easily on our property and how she thought she might handle her. Our daughter looked at the enormity of that sow and dried her eyes. She gave me one long, resigned but committed look. "Shakira is bacon." And that was that.
But Hamlet is still adorable. Adorable bacon.
If I was going to have a pet pig he'd have to be named Arnold. The surreal world of Green Acres would be more fun than this one anyway.
ReplyDeleteOf course after Lisa and O-lee-var, Arnold will always be the classic name, like Black Beauty or Lassie. But you have to admit Hamlet is pretty damn cute.
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