Thursday, May 16, 2013

Tequila Shots

It used to be drinking tequila meant something. It gained one a certain place. Recognition. Respect. The fiery, soul-searing liquid needed all your courage, and just a little stupidity, some salt and a redemptive burst of lime to make it down.

The act of drinking such rotgut was a performance in heroism. It would begin with the in drawn breath. The anticipatory swallow readied the tongue and throat for the caustic liquid. Shoulders were squared. Resolve tightened your hand around the shot glass.

A lick of salt and your eyes would close to the inevitable. You had made your decision. The full shot was tossed back. A gasp of recognition. Then the salvation of cleansing lime juice....Another round!

But now we have tequilas that are as smooth, complex and enticing as a beautiful cognac. Needing a salt lick and then chomping down on a lime wedge like a piece of leather during unanesthetized surgery is no longer necessary. Or even tolerated.

With the truly exquisite tequilas one can obtain now, presentation and thoughtful pairing are required.


12 servings

12 limes, ends trimmed, cut crosswise in half

2 1/4 cups fresh orange juice
5 tablespoons grenadine syrup
1 teaspoon (generous) salt
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper (to taste)

Premium tequila (and I do mean PREMIUM!) HAHA!

Squeeze the limes in citrus juicer to extract as much juice as possible. Use 3/4 cup for recipe. Save remaining juice for another use. Using scissors, cut out as much of the membrane as possible. Freeze lime halves.

Mix all other ingredients together. Refrigerate until cold, about 2 hours.

Serve the tequila and sangrita in the frozen lime halves to your guests.

Dance! All night.

Oh...and fuck Bette Midler.


  1. I wouldn't fuck Bette midler if she had the last pussy on the planet.

    1. How about if she had the last pussy AND a paper bag. Or would you just get her to hold the dog?

    2. Now, that's funny....I don't care who you are.

  2. Sheep. Its hold the sheep.

    1. Wait. MY joke is about a guy on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. Every time he gets the sheep in a compromising "position" the dog comes running in barking and scares away the sheep. Months of this go day a gorgeous woman washes ashore. He pulls her to safety and when she recovers, she says she will do anything for him. He says, "Hold that damn dog."

    2. Ah. In mine, there's just a sheep but he has no arms.

  3. Fuck Bette Midler?? Not even with a 40 foot barge pole..

  4. I don't drink, because I'm allergic to alcohol (I breeak out in handcuffs).

    I remember drinking tequila. There was a motorcycle involved somehow. And a cat. I'm pretty sure I didn't attempt to ride the motorcycle, but I can't say the same thing about the cat. I did apparently attempt to have conjugal relations with a Plymouth Barracuda. I remember waking up near a cow but I wasn't anywhere near a farm, and I was wearing a blue pinstripe Hart Schaffner and Marx suit that was open in the back (The kind funeral directors put on corpses)

    It's always better for me to stay away from Alcohol, but I'll drink lighter fluid before I drink Tequila again.