Wednesday, May 15, 2013


Yes, I know I'm late with Mother's Day. Yes, I realize it's Wednesday. But you have no idea of what my week life has been like lately. While it is in no way incumbent upon you to care, having my hair on fire while the DEFCON ONE alarm is constantly sounding, with teenagers only a couple of weeks from school letting out while temperatures soar into the 90's (which means school is effectively OUT), with every pet, person or pony I own or know deciding NOW would be a good time to have a complete physical/mental and/or emotional breakdown, I've been a trifle busy. Not that I'm complaining or anything.

My daughter made me this plate.
So in belated remembrance of Mother's Day (hell, every day should be Mother's Day), let me say now to all mothers everywhere -


This plate has become "THE PLATE" in our home. Every Mother's Day, I am served on this plate. And we remember the Mother's Day card my son made me as a child in pre-school. The teacher asked the children questions and wrote down their answers. One question was, "What does your mother do all day?"

My son's answer? "Clean house and ride her horse."

The teacher pressed for more. "Surely she does more than that."

"Nope," my son reassured her matter-of-factly. "That's it."

I'm a very interesting person.

That plate and card are my forgotten, broken coffee mug.

And if any of you guys out there think that Mother's Day isn't worth a coffee mug and would rather spend your money on trading cards and beef-flavored bubble gum, here's a little peek into what it takes to become a mother.



  1. That's a nice plate. Reminds me of the somewhat blobby, yellow turtle ashtray I made my mom. Hey, it was the 70's, lumpy yellow turtles were very in that year. Here's hoping things get back to at least Defcon 3, I miss ya when you're gone.

    1. I miss all of you, too. You have become really good friends in a weird kind of way. HAHAHAHA!

      I've been crazy with our company going through an expansion, FDA shit, contractors and real estate agents and moving our whole operation...YIKES!

      I was just telling Rachel that I am sick to death of politics and corruption and the constant drumbeat of insanity. I really really really really want to be superficial and uninformed for such a little while. Just a breather. Clear my head. God, it's all too nuts.

      If Obama can make it through the shitload of scandals going on right now, he is bullet-proof and we WILL see a tyrant, mark my words. This whole thing has turned into his stare down moment. If he makes it through and pulls the Republicans and the press back into line, he will tell the whole country to go fuck ourselves and do exactly what he wants. Not that he doesn't already do that...but he'll do it with carefree aplomb. Might even flip off the cameras...just for affect.

  2. Now, you put me to shame.
    There was a, I should say, yes, that's what it was, most likely; although ashtray or shallow pot would also describe it close. It was made from white clay and painted in violet and brown, with green splashes at the bottom. It was given to me by my favoritest bestest person in the world when he was in 4th grade...and when I was unpacking after the move I broke it and threw it away.
    You want my Mother Day story? here.

    1. Your Mother's Day story was superb.

      That's called killing two birds with one stone.

      Happy Mother's Day.

    2. Besides, that plate is plastic. Can't break it. LOL!