Awesomeness in a Small Package UPDATED BECAUSE OF GRRRRRRRRR!

GRRRRRRR! So the video has been taken down. WTF? If they don't want you to share it, then why the fuck do they have a share button???

I give up.

Here's another video of little Harry Allen charging around a course on the jump off. He's amazing. Watch while you can. Who knows when this one will disappear.

Young Harry rides like an eventer...git'er done! We all come at fences like that in stadium, and we don't even HAVE jump off rounds! We just don't see the need to slow our horses down. HAHAHA!

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This little boy and his pony are some kind of awesome! The way he gallops at those fences, you'd think he was an eventer. Mark my words, everyone in the Grand Prix world will know this kid's name in 20 years. Harry Allen. Remember that. He's going to be an Olympian, you can put money on it.

Trust Me On This

Early Acupuncture

For the man who has everything...except relief...UPDATED BECAUSE I AM REMARDED.

UPDATED BECAUSE I AM REMARDED.

But we all know that, don't we, kittens? Leonard has pointed out my inexcusable eff up in the comments below and...well...of course he's right and of course I screwed up this entire post because I was too lazy to check my email for the proper link to the joke before throwing this together. See what happens when I don't write anything for so long that I feel guilty as hell and then hurry to produce something without really attending to details...or even paying attention? It all goes to shit.

If it interests you, this is how I typically tell jokes, too. Jump in...wander around forgetting the story line AND the punch line...until everyone is laughing AT me and not WITH me.

So BEHOLD! Here is the REAL instrument of torture immeasurable relief...

It's a good deal more tidy and looks much safer for rummaging around in tight quarters.

If I had taken the time to get it right, I would also have been able to cut and paste the product description, which is divine.

• 8" long silver-plated ball-scratcher
• Reaches deep into your trousers for itch 'n' scratch relief!
• In a stylish presentation box.
• Gentleman's Ball Scratcher for the busy male executive
• Handheld chrome-effect ball scratcher presented in a deluxe metal case
• Ideal for those hard-to-reach places
• In the shape of a delicate female hand
• 9-inch handle for extra reach

AAAAANDDDD I would have realized that, why yes, there are indeed a number of reviews, and they are worth reading. HAHAHAHAHAA!

What a remard!

Happy New Year. At least we can all quit worrying that I'm going to develop into anything serious, noteworthy or even remotely successful in 2015. I'm the same remard as I've always been. Reassuring...isn't it?

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Behold!

I can still use "Behold!" because it's only a week past Christmas. My blog. My rules.

I can't even bring myself to name this. You figure it out.

There are no reviews on this handy little gadget. Go figure. But after watching enough baseball games with Farm Boy to guarantee Alzheimer's before 60, I am shocked to realize that men need a specialized tool. I thought their hand was God's invention.

Oh well.

Missing Friends

I can't say good bye to 2014 without acknowledging that many blogs which I love...DEARLY love...to read have gone silent. I understand how busy life is. I know that coming up with something every day or week that is more than just a "look-at-me!" post is a struggle, especially after a year or so of blogging, and I REALLY understand that as one's readership goes up, one's unaffected joie de vivre goes right out the window and you begin to question everything you write until you can't write a thing.

I get it.

But still, I miss:

Rachel Lucas

Velociworld

Sheri Gilmour

Parkway Rest Stop

The Doctor Is In

These were all blogs which, while sometimes political, were more often personal, funny, insightful, thought-provoking. The political blogs which I enjoy reading never seem to tire, bless their hearts. Of course, we can all concede that they have fresh meat every. fucking. day with Prince Peevish the Incompetent in office. But these AWOL blogs I've listed rummaged through the vast landscape of human folly with hilarious anecdotes or aha! insight and now they are all gone. Dead. MIA.

RIP.

A New Year's Resolution That Isn't All About You.

This made me LOL for about five minutes. Okay...I am on my second Manhattan but stiiiiilllll...Why can't more people make New Year's Resolutions about something larger than their weight or getting a nicer car? What about changing the world?

When people ask why you aren't married, yell "I'M MARRIED TO THE STRUGGLE" & flip over a table. #FeministNewYearResolutions
— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) December 27, 2014

I only wish to GOD that she was kidding.

I fear that she is not.

Okay...that makes it even funnier....!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Hope everyone's New Year's Eve was happy and SAFE. And that you aren't nursing a huge hangover.