Say, "AAAAAAAHHH!"

Hoping this doesn't apply to one of my BFF's. Sorry, kitten, dental work is never fun.

When it's not your turn to die. -- UPDATED!

Just don't run into any plague-infested flying squirrels. 'Cause that'll kill 'ya.

************

It has been pointed out in the comments that this is a hoax -- a carefully edited video. Apparently it didn't happen like that. But I don't care because it is damn fun to watch and I WANT it to have happened that way.

He just tips it over and BAM! He lands it. 

Don't you WANT life to be like that? Just once??? Talk about sticking the landing. Okay....okay...I know not really, but still...WOW!

Fat Chick Cures Cancer...No One Cares

Or at least, Ace, over at Ace of Spades HQ doesn't. He's waiting for the "hot cure."

The Twitter feed on this is HILARIOUS!

HAHAHAHA!

Go. Now.

Two stories that add up to scaring the hell out of me.

One of my most intractable convictions is that people will use exactly the amount of power allotted them. And when they have too much power, they will use it badly. Always. So we should properly prepare to be screwed. Over. And. Over. And. Over. Because our government has too much power. Far too much power.

What that means is that thousands of citizens --- hundreds of thousands of citizens --- have far too much power over other citizens simply because they work for the government. Take the story of Crissy Brown. She didn't see to an expired license plate on her car. While something this minor might have left you thinking that she wouldn't even be in the drawing for a prize, this infraction afforded her a grand prize luxury, all expense paid trip through the police station, complete with a ride in the patrol car, a free strip search by a vulgar policewoman, and a fancy orange jumpsuit.

From there, I was processed, which included stripping down in front of a female officer. While I stood before her naked, I asked the cop why it was necessary for me to be strip searched; she responded by calling me an asshole and deciding I needed to take a shower to, I suppose, wash the filth out of my mouth. I didn’t even get a towel to dry off with. She handed me a large, burlap-like orange set of scrubs, bedding, and a mattress. I was escorted down to population, made to walk along gray tape on the ground (it really pissed them off if you deviated from the “inmate line”), and then put in a holding cell that had more women than beds, two metal picnic tables, and an old fuzzy TV set.

I was in jail for a little over eight hours. For the last three, my family sat waiting for them to release me, wondering why it takes so long to process a bond. When they finally freed me, I thought to myself, “thank god this is over.”

Not even close.

Of course it gets worse. 

While I was pondering the sensible expenditure of tax money so that thugs with badges could harass, demean, and virtually terrorize a woman over an expired license plate, I came across this story.

Senator: Weak oversight of NSA may lead to massive location tracking

"Most of us have a computer in our pocket that can be used to track us 24/7."

Just swell. Just freaking swell.

Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR), who might just be in a position to know what he's talking about since he is on the Senate Select Committee for Intelligence, assures us that our government is capable of monitoring our every move.

"Most of us here have a computer in our pocket that can potentially be used to track and monitor us 24/7," Wyden remarked early on, before vaguely warning of the prospect of "a surveillance state that cannot be reversed." Later he added: "Without additional protections in the law, every single one of us... may be and can be tracked and monitored anywhere we are at any time." And again: "Today, government officials openly tell the press that they have the authority to effectively turn America's cell phones and smartphones into location-enabled homing beacons."

And the FISA courts aren't even being "transparent" to Senators. So we've got zero chance at learning what is going on.

"I know of no other court in America that strays so far from the adversarial process," Wyden said. Of 1,789 electronic-surveillance requests submitted in 2012, the court denied none and modified 40, while the government withdrew one.

And no other court in America keeps its own opinions so secret. Wyden said the Obama administration had assured him in writing in 2009 "that a process would begin to be created to start redacting and declassifying FISA Court opinions."

But those assurances were like keeping your own doctor, or not seeing a dime in new taxes. Yeah, bullshit.

Wyden has been one of a few members of Congress with a long-lasting concern about overbroad surveillance. When he asked the administration about location tracking almost two years ago, he didn't get a satisfying answer. "I want to deliver a warning this afternoon," Wyden said during a 2011 debate. "When the American people find out how their government has secretly interpreted the Patriot Act, they will be stunned and they will be angry." (Emphasis mine.)

Wonder if I could perfect this method.

I don't know about you, but I might just start brushing up on my more esoteric methods of communication, like shouting, or maybe smoke signals. Maybe those whistles the Democrats told me to carry will come in handy.

My question: When are liberals going to realize that no matter WHAT George Bush did, Obama is 1,000 times worse?

I know. Never.

Obama is a privileged, black Democrat. He can do no wrong. And he has suffered. He heard doors click when he was a youth attending an expensive private high school in Honolulu. Doors clicked by "typical white people."

I'd say that gives him a pass on instituting a massive surveillance state in total violation of the protections of the Constitution.

And if you don't think so, you're a raaaaaaaacist.

Roger. Copy that.

It's good to be the king.

His Imperial Majesty, Obama The Beloved, is doing his very best to destroy American enterprise and the economy. Oh! I do so hope he makes it. I would hate to think that anything exceeds his grasp, so grand and glorious he is. Once the greatest economy the world has ever seen is reduced to ash, we will be finally set free of the yoke of brutal prosperity and delivered to the ennobling depths of cleansing poverty and despair. Then -- and only then -- will we at last understand that all good things come from government and our Wise and Just Rulers.

"You didn't build that."

"...at some point, you've made enough money."

"I believe that if you spread the wealth around, it's good for everyone."

"I don't believe people should be allowed to own guns."

"So if somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can, it's just that it will bankrupt them."

"Under my plan electricity rates will necessarily skyrocket."

"Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual."

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

He's just warming up.

The Cost of Obama’s Regulatory Explosion

Nearly double the cost of the first three years of Bush and Clinton combined.

2:29 PM, Jan 30, 2013 • By JEFFREY H. ANDERSON

As Adam White discusses in detail, there’s nothing moderate or incremental about the increase in federal regulations — and hence in centralized executive power — under President Obama. To the contrary (as White notes), according to figures published by the Obama White House (see table 2-1), the costs of regulations issued by this administration have dwarfed the costs of regulations issued by prior administrations.

A picture may be worth a thousands words, but in this case, it's worth billions and billions of dollars.

Get used to poverty. It's good for you. Your Leaders have spoken.

Security requires more than guns.

For those of you, like me, who are not "techie" in the least, but still avail themselves of the glories of the internet on a regular basis, this story from Fellowship of the Minds is extraordinarily important.

Security experts, researchers and analysts have discovered a vulnerability in the widely used Java software that has the potential to allow hackers to access to your computer.

Oracle’s Java platform is used and installed on more than one billion user computers worldwide. Three billion mobile phones are running the software too.

It's always something. The more intertwined we become through the "web" (which I've always thought was a deliciously spooky and yet insightfully descriptive name), the more we are vulnerable to others' bad, stupid, evil shit. Hey! Just like socialism....but I digress...Anywho, since I am not inclined to "look under the hood" of my computer, I take seriously those who do.

Please visit this website and go through the fairly easy steps to remove Java from your computer and then disable it on the browsers which you routinely use.

You know I love you, kittens.

The iPhone has its drawbacks.

Delicately tapping the screen of my iPhone just doesn't convey the same level of insouciant contempt. In fact, nothing has quite the same degree of finality as slamming the receiver down in the cradle of an old telephone.You KNEW you had been hung up on then.

Every advancement in technology doesn't improve life.

Oh, for the good old days.

Your new iPhone is here. This is why you should want to "keep Obama in president."

Stolen in its entirety from IMAO.US

The Truth About the Obamaphone

Posted by Harvey on October 2, 2012 at 8:00 am

[High Praise! to The People's Cube]
The differences between an Obamaphone and a regular phone:

* It automatically rejects calls from people with a different opinion.
* Every time you take a picture, it produces a grimmer image of America.
* It doesn’t have a plan; it just keeps telling you how bad the other guy’s plan is.
* When it crashes, it blames your previous phone.
* All 3 AM calls go directly to voicemail.
* It has a really useless app called “Biden.”
* Pairing it with another device sucks all the energy out of the other unit.
* Type in “job search” and it gives you directions to the welfare office.
* The navigation feature covers all 57 States.
* The default ringtone for international calls is “I’m sorry, so sorry, please accept my apology.”
* The healthcare app downloads and installs itself without your permission.
* When you make a call, a teleprompter pops up to help you speak.
* Restaurant reviews are all written by Michelle Obama.
* There are never any winners on Angry Birds.
* Instagram takes two months to process a photo and you have to fill out 3 PDFs to do so.
* Paypal app is replaced with ReceivePal app.
* You can’t find “Jerusalem” on Google maps.
* It turns all your Facebook friends into enemies and all your enemies into friends.
* Don’t want to work? There’s an app for that, too.
* It automatically bows down to phones made by foreign companies.
* When you watch a YouTube video, a US ambassador gets killed.
* When you dial “home”, it calls Kenya.
* As opposed to the iPhone, it’s called the mePhone.

*****************
And my suggestions:

It comes pre-programmed with all of Obama's speeches.
The ringtone is "just noise."
That isn't a vibration, it's just a "bump in the road."
All YouTube videos that defame the Prophet Mohammed are censored to save lives.

"Liar, liar, plants for hire."

Spongebob: "It's 'pants on fire', Patrick."

Patrick: "Well, you should know."

********

The Obama White House is denying any knowledge of a misleading (and by misleading I mean viciously fallacious with a cherry on top) commercial released this week by Priorities USA Action that attempts to connect Romney to the death of a steelworker's wife who died of cancer some years after being laid off of his job when the plant closed.

"Aaaaahh, yeah....no. We don't know what you're talking about."

"We have nothing, no involvement, with any ads that are done by Priorities USA. We don't have any knowledge of the story of the family," Obama campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki told reporters aboard Air Force One.

 "I haven't seen the ad, but I have read about it. And I speak for the president, I do not speak for a third-party organization," Carney said in the same briefing.

Only maybe they do know a little something. The same man, Joe Soptic, was featured on an Obama conference call in mid-May of this year.

Really? Dang! I hate it when that happens!

Understand? I understand you're a lying sack.

For as hip and savvy as the Obama Campaign would portray itself, it seems altogether unable to wrap its pointy little collective head around the idea that the internet allows numerous and highly motivated people to check everything...all the time. Gone are the days when you could stuff whatever was inconvenient down the Memory Hole and call it good. So using ol' Joe here to tell his "story" about Romney The Corporate Raider and All 'Round Bad Guy in May and then flatly denying any knowledge of the exact same story by the exact same guy in August is just...well...stupid and possibly illegal. There are campaign laws that prevent this sort of thing. Not that anyone in the Obama camp gives a shit about the law, but perhaps someone somewhere does.

Here is a short list of the lies in this ad:

• Joe Soptic worked for GST Steel for 30 years.
• Before Bain Capital ever came around, GST Steel's previous owner was shutting it down.
• When Bain Capital came in, they cancelled the shutdown, spent a ton of money on renovations and improvements to the company, and kept it running an additional 8 years.
• Did I miss where this steel worker thanked Mitt Romney for giving him an additional 8 years of employment (and healthcare coverage), that he wouldn't have had if Bain Capital hadn't bought the company? (Yes, kitten, you did miss that. Gratitude is a scarce thing from the left.)
• Joe Soptic’s wife never had insurance through GST Steel; she had her own plan through her own employer. She lost her job years after GST Steel was closed down. Her loss of her job and her insurance had NOTHING to do with Bain Capital.
• She died 5 years after GST Steel closed down. 

I love destroying people as much as I love
destroying businesses. It's kind of a two-fer.

All lies and deceit aside, let's consider the situation where a steel mill must be closed. Businesses are closed because they can't make a profit. They are not closed, as the ad would imply, so that greedy, rich men can smirk and rub their hands together as they think of all the families they've turned out into the street. So why isn't anyone asking why this steel mill could not make a profit, even with the massive investment and renovation from Bain Capital? Perhaps we are looking at a situation where the loving embrace of government, with all its regulations and taxes, was just a trifle too enthusiastic? Or perhaps union workers, with cushy benefits and stuffed retirements, were a bit over zealous in their assessment of their own worth? I don't know. But I'm betting.

So, after years of unsuccessfully trying to turn GST Steel into a profitable company, Bain Capital decided to close it. This makes Bain Capital, whether Romney was around or not, evil. And by evil I mean eeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiillllllllllll!

However, when Solyndra took over $535,000,000 of taxpayer money and then went bankrupt, leaving their employees without jobs or benefits, we aren't supposed to be worried about them at all because that was a situation where Our Dear Leader and his crack team of economic strategists, motivated solely by humane and enlightened concern for our planet and the lovely Democrats who call it home, decided to "invest" in green energy to give us the promised future of receding waters and a healed planet. (We won't even mention these intelligent, enlightened, green government investments...)



We're in good hands, kittens. Just sit down and shut up. One peep and we'll call you a racist.

I Have Timeline

H/T: Joe Dan Gorman

It's Too Early for This....

I've been up since the crack of Good-Lord-You-Can't-Be-Serious! dawn because of the stupid freaking cat who is evil and nocturnal, which for someone like me who loves her beauty sleep is pretty much the same thing. So, ever the busy bunny, I decide to change my user email on this blog from who I really am to who I pretend to be. All super secrety like, 'cause I'm a shy critter. It was a master plan hatched in the wee hours of the morning. Not a great time to hatch anything technical. I should have just stuck to figuring out how to murder the cat without my daughter knowing.

Hours later, I managed to get it done. However, "It" (and that is capitalized deliberately...) wiped out my Blogger profile and now I seem to be attached for life to Google +.  ARRRGGHH! I don't even flipping know how, what, or why Google + exists except to frustrate me.

So that's why I don't like Google...which reminds me of an old favorite...

UPDATE! (I know...like anyone cares!)

I have managed to dump Google + and regain my profile on Blogger. YIPPEE! Took me the better part of all day...but I DID IT! I was not to be defied. I lost two other blogs I was toying with though, which I now seem completely unable to access. Damn!

One was called DINNER IN, where I was going to post recipes, maybe even with those aerial photos all the food blogs have that look as if they were taken from a block and tackle setup over your range in the kitchen, and IN PLACE OF THERAPY, where I was going to hand out sage, free advice, like "You may not be paranoid.  Ever think of that?"

Now all that is gone.

Into the Sea

The always erudite Bill Whittle on the deadly paralysis of pulling in opposite directions.

Mr. Whittle illustrates with airplanes and lessons in aerodynamics.  My immediate thought was this:

Yeah...I'm smart like that.

Texts From Your Dog

I'm still trying to figure out how he can text without opposable thumbs or the ability to point even ONE finger.

This is a smart dog.

And Obama didn't eat him. Yet.

H/T: Small Dead Animals

AL GORE BETS OBAMA WILL MAKE THE OCEANS RECEDE

The only reasonable explanation. It couldn't possibly be that global warming is a politically driven scam to impoverish the world, enrich political leaders and destroy freedom.  Naaaaaah...that's just crazy talk.

UNLESS I'M TEXTING....

Then, by all means, feel free to take over.

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

A SAD DAY

"Shuttle Discovery Goes From Runway to Museum"

Discovery was the first shuttle to be decommissioned, back in March 2011. The orbiter flew 39 missions, more than any other shuttle in history, logging 148,221,675 miles on its odometer during 365 days in outer space. Its achievements include deployment of the Hubble Space Telescope in 1990, John Glenn's flight in 1998 at the age of 77 (which made him the oldest person to fly in space), and the "return to flight" missions after the Challenger explosion and the Columbia disaster.

Is anyone else feeling a loss of American exceptionalism as they watch this? 






Thanks, Obama. We can run through hundreds of billions of dollars (POOF! It's gone...heh...how should WE know?), assign the pissing away of said money to a "teachable moment", but we can't afford to fund the space program. 

GOOD QUESTION

GREEN IS THE NEW RED

And by "red" you can infer ink.

But not to worry.  Obama and his crack team of expert, super smart czars are BOUND to get one right eventually. Even a blind chicken gets a few acorns. The scoop on this story belongs to Maggie Thurber:

Following bad news over the weekend, another solar firm announces major restructuring moves, including layoffs, today.

First Solar (FSLR) was kicked off the Nasdaq-100 Monday and replaced by Texas Instruments.  First Solar is based in Tempe, AZ, but was founded in Toledo under the name of Solar Cells, Inc.  Their only U.S. manufacturing facility is in Perrysburg Township.

In October, they fired their CEO.  In December, they announced 100 layoffs and a delay at their Mesa plant.  

Today, they announced further changes, including closing operations and laying off 2,000 - roughly 30% of their workforce

It appears Obama and Crew haven't gotten it right yet again. But don't be so cynical. Maybe they will next time. I think we should give them another four more years to see if they can finally pick a winner. How much can it cost?