"I think it's called laughing as you sink."

This reminds me of the Abbot and Costello routine, "Who's On First?"

It's only funny because it hurts so much.Remember, as we watch it all burn, we got here under the advice and guidance of all the really, really, really smart guys. That is reassuring, isn't it?

LET THE END TIMES ROLL!

I'd like to raise a toast to the Illuminati. Keep fighting the good fight.

Pure brilliance. Awesome, stellar, diamond-hard brilliance.

H/T: Top Commenter, RG. Thanks, dude.

Congressman Ellison is a shining example of the intellectual and moral superiority of the left.

In listening to Mr. Ellison, one is struck by the intellectual maneuvering of true genius.

All across America school children are vindicated by the obvious strength of the Congressman's argument which appeared to be based mostly on the old game of "I know you are, but what am I?" Followed, in a solid one-two punch, with, "Na-uh! Na-uh! Na-uh!"

KA-POW! Take that!

Oh, it hurts. OUCH!

This pummeling is in sharp contrast to another liberal heavyweight who used the "I can't hear you" argument of toddlers to decimate his opponent.

To be fair, I think it is completely impossible to look anything other than stupid when you are lying or arguing for a stupid position. In fact, one of the easiest ways to check your premise for validity is to ask, "Does arguing for this make me look like a completely retarded dumbass?" If so, you can safely assume that you are wrong.

But in this case, one must remain cognizant of the fact that the men involved in these linguistic and physical displays of awesome slam-your-opponent-to-the-mat debating skillz are LEADERS--a congressman and a civil rights attorney.

And Democrats. But I hardly needed to mention that, did I?



H/T: Chicks on the Right

For the children...of seals.

Democrats, liberals and the press (but I repeat myself) would like you to viscerally, emotionally and without using ONE BRAIN CELL connect the image of a pathetic seal face with the idea that cutting even one single DIME from a budget that is as bloated as a dead body after two weeks in the Hudson River will make the seals sad. Very, very sad.

 

Apparently liberals have abandoned the idea that cruel, vicious, gun-toting conservatives are swayed by images of adorable children since Sandy Hook didn't make us immediately line up and hand over all our guns. So now we're being treated to images like this. 

AAaaahhhhhh.

If we don't cave, then we'll surely be accused of this:

What sequestration really comes down to.
Republicans are heartless bastards.

If I was any good at Photoshop, I would have substituted a shotgun for the club. That'd be some sweet irony right there.

BAM!

UPDATED!!! HAHAHAHA! RG found this. It is EXACTLY what I needed but was far too lazy to create. Thanks, RG!

H/T: Breitbart

Too good not to steal

Okay....I'm not going to steal it exactly. But I am going to point the way.

Go. There. Now.

And speaking of goats....

See? You KNEW Obama was the anti-Christ!

I crack myself up.

Obama is bloviating.

Is there any way to politely scream at the TV, "SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU LYING SACK!"

Probably not.

But he is making the most outrageous threats and accusations about the debt ceiling. He is laying all the blame at the feet of Congress for the spending, saying that now they have to live up to the obligation of paying for all the bills they racked up.

WHO racked up those bills, Mr. Effing President? WHO?

As I recall, there hasn't been a budget in years. You've been allowed to spend anything you damn well wanted without so much as a "how do you do" to  Congress.

And now it's THEIR fault?

What a monster.

Good news...bad news...

President Romney. Say it like you MEAN it.

President Romney.
PRESident Romney.
President ROMney.

President Romney. Sir.












But who's the putz standing next to you? Lost to history. Bwaaahahaha!

HAHAHA! Someone is getting a scolding. It's the woodshed for you, young man.

Last night was sublime. It was delightful. It was pure keen.

It was about time.

Romney finally brought everything to the table. Obama, as always, brought nothing. Not even his teleprompter. What a contrast.

Chris Matthews got a massive butthurt watching it. Let the wailing and the gnashing begin.

Chris was left begging Obama to watch HIM more. That's your only advice? No leg tingles then, I'm guessing.

This morning Jim Lehrer is getting kicked to the curb by the left as well. How COULD he allow Obama to look so BAD? What the hell was Lehrer doing just sitting there while Romney handed him his ass over and over again? Wasn't Lehrer aware that his JOB was to save President Empty Chair from getting smacked around like a lunchroom folding chair by a kid Michelle has just denied an extra dessert?

NEW YORK (AP) — Jim Lehrer may be regretting his decision to come out of semi-retirement and moderate his 12th presidential debate.

The veteran PBS anchor drew caustic social media reviews for his performance on Wednesday, with critics saying he failed to keep control of the campaign’s first direct exchange between President Barack Obama and Republican Mitt Romney. The candidates talked over Lehrer’s attempts to keep them to time limitations, and his open-ended questions frequently lacked sharpness.

Hell, even Obama seemed annoyed at the lack of control. Early on, he suggested that they move on to something else, obviously tired of getting bloodied. But the beating had just begun and Romney still had a lot of swing left in that right arm.

Tweets went out between campaigns and Obama's camp wrote: "Romney is a good debater. This is not a game changer, though."

Romney campaign tweeted back: "If this had been a game, the ref would have called it."

Over at Rachel Lucas's blog, Physics Geek nails it.

He's making a list...he's checking it twice

Obama may not have a list...or a plan, but Paul Ryan has both. Here's his list. Let's compare this with the Democrats' plan, which is: SPEND MORE MONEY.

* Corporation for Public Broadcasting Subsidy (Self-flagellation fund)– $445 million annual savings.
* Save America’s Treasures Program (Starving artist fund) — $25 million annual savings.
* International Fund for Ireland (Guinness fund)– $17 million annual savings.
* Legal Services Corporation (Obstruction fund) — $420 million annual savings.
* National Endowment for the Arts (elitist crony fund)– $167.5 million annual savings.
* National Endowment for the Humanities (atheism fund)– $167.5 million annual savings.

It's a long list. Find the rest at Joan of Argghh's Primordial Slack.

"Hit the Road, Jack"

Or Barack...as the case may be.

Newsweek, famous of late for its outrageously left-leaning cover stories, has come up with a stunner. And I do mean STUNNER!  This is how I felt when I saw it.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaa---ahhhh! I was completely faked out.

Here it is:

Srsly?

I know, right?

Niall Ferguson makes a compelling case for why we need a new president in an article filled with facts. This obviously and instantly makes him stupid...and evil.  Oh, and racist. Remember, kittens, I know how to break the code.

Mr. Ferguson points out numerous instances relating to the economy, the war, the budget, where Obama has either not lived up to his promises or he has actually broken them. How much slack are we going to give this president? Oh, now THAT is code, too. I used the word "slack". And "president." Totally code.

Even Our Dear Leader his own self agreed he needed to get kicked to the curb.

Racist.

But the evil, hate-filled, ignorant racist Mr. Ferguson goes even further. He doesn't just point out the huge discrepancies between what Obama promised and what he delivered, Mr. Ferguson actually goes so far as to insist that the Romney/Ryan ticket is the obvious path to prosperity for this country. Speaking of Ryan, Ferguson says:

He is one of only a handful of politicians in Washington who is truly sincere about addressing this country’s fiscal crisis....But one thing is clear. Ryan psychs Obama out. This has been apparent ever since the White House went on the offensive against Ryan in the spring of last year. And the reason he psychs him out is that, unlike Obama, Ryan has a plan—as opposed to a narrative—for this country. [...]

The voters now face a stark choice. They can let Barack Obama’s rambling, solipsistic narrative continue until they find themselves living in some American version of Europe, with low growth, high unemployment, even higher debt—and real geopolitical decline.

Or they can opt for real change: the kind of change that will end four years of economic underperformance, stop the terrifying accumulation of debt, and reestablish a secure fiscal foundation for American national security.

For clarity, I have bolded all the code words so you can see the racism inherent in the story.

I feel a song coming on........

Who knew Ray Charles was a racist?

The Solution to Our Medicare Crisis

With both sides arguing over who is going to kill Grandma and Grandpa first, I don't know why this idea hasn't been floated. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Combining America's love of sport with sound fiscal policy. It's a win-win.

Actually, this would produce a decided advantage for Democrats since they still vote even when they're dead.

"Whoever he is...he's too late. See!? The Cliffs of Insanity!"

We're heeeeeer-er!

ROMNEY/RYAN? HAHAHA! THEY ARE TOO LATE!

**********************

Our Dear Beloved Leader, Hosanna Hosanna Bama, has skillfully and compassionately driven us right to the very edge of the Cliffs of Fiscal Insanity for He is a man of vision and leadership. It is now up to us. Our choices are only two: jump for Obama or get pushed off by the Republicans.

Hosanna Hosanna Bama believes in us. He believes in our goodness. He believes that we will do the right thing and JUMP FOR OBAMA. Not WITH him, mind you, he will stay behind to make sure all is well, but certainly we will be jumping with those evil 1%'ers because our death is as nothing if we can destroy people who have lots more than----okay...so maybe they will stay behind, too...but we will definitely be jumping with those HENRYs, that's for DAMN sure because they are the one group in America that has enough money to cause envy but not enough to buy off our politicians Democratic Saints. So eff'em. Right? Who's with me???!?!

Come on! All good Democrats, Crybabies and Scaredy Cats know that there is only one way out of this fiscal crisis and it is to trust Hosanna Hosanna Bama and Saint Joseph the Traveler (with all that foreign policy experience) to guide us to the Promised Land on the rocks below. Only with Democrats can we be be assured that massive spending and debt is the answer to our prayers even though this has proven disastrous for every country in history who has ever tried it. Hosanna Hosanna Bama is different. Hosanna Hosanna Bama cares. And all good Democrats know that caring is much more powerful than math.

Instead of abandoning the principle of "I want it all while someone else pays for it", a principle that is demonstrably older and more ingrained in human history than the principle of "I must earn what I have and not envy the success of others", now is the moment when we must re-commit and JUMP FOR OBAMA or those evil Republicans could force us to behave like adults. How dare they?

The choice is clear. If any doubts remain, this should lay them to rest.

The Republicans are truly insane. As a nation we stand on the Cliffs of Fiscal Insanity, fellow citizens, and the Republicans expect us to act sanely. This must not happen! Now is our moment! We are the ones we've been waiting for! The oceans are rapidly receding and the rocks are exposed below! Jump, stupid!

H/T: PJ Media and Andrew Klavan, and Top Commenter, RG

Introducing Cutie Pie

The Daily Caller has put together a list of 10 things most people don't know about Paul Ryan. And no, 'Paul Ryan is a cutie pie' isn't one of the ten. We already know that.

1.) A PPP poll from July suggests Ryan could help Romney win Wisconsin. In a generic match-up between Romney and Obama, the poll showed Obama up six percentage points. But when Ryan was listed as Romney’s running mate, Ryan narrowed the gap for Romney by 5 percentage points, making it a 1 percentage point race in Obama’s favor.

2.) Ryan told Politico’s Mike Allen that his worst habit is that he drinks “two cups of coffee every morning.” Romney, whose Mormon religion forbids him from drinking coffee, will likely not be joining Ryan in his “vice” on the campaign trail.

3.) Ryan is best known for his conservative budget plan, “The Path to Prosperity.” The plan has passed the House of Representatives — albeit in slightly different iterations — the past two years with almost all Republicans and no Democrats voting for it. The plan drastically reforms Medicare and has been demagogued by the left — one liberal ad in 2011 even went so far as to depict a Ryan look-alike pushing an old lady off a cliff.


Read more....

Hey, Girls...Romney's VP Might Just Be Paul Ryan

If it is, it's GAME ON! Picking Ryan as his running mate would be one of the most decisive things Romney could do to prove he is running a serious campaign to win and that as president he would remain serious about addressing the economy and the budget crisis.

And they would make such a cute couple, don't think?

It's all at Ace Of Spades HQ.

All of it.

Be still my fevered breast. We will know tomorrow.

While The Presidential Campaign Descends Into Insanity...

Accusations, lies, deceit, corruption...total chaos...

We all need to be like this guy. Focus on the issues, people. Unemployment, spending, debt, respect for the rule of law and the balance of power.

The rest of it is just crap.

"Liar, liar, plants for hire."

Spongebob: "It's 'pants on fire', Patrick."

Patrick: "Well, you should know."

********

The Obama White House is denying any knowledge of a misleading (and by misleading I mean viciously fallacious with a cherry on top) commercial released this week by Priorities USA Action that attempts to connect Romney to the death of a steelworker's wife who died of cancer some years after being laid off of his job when the plant closed.

"Aaaaahh, yeah....no. We don't know what you're talking about."

"We have nothing, no involvement, with any ads that are done by Priorities USA. We don't have any knowledge of the story of the family," Obama campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki told reporters aboard Air Force One.

 "I haven't seen the ad, but I have read about it. And I speak for the president, I do not speak for a third-party organization," Carney said in the same briefing.

Only maybe they do know a little something. The same man, Joe Soptic, was featured on an Obama conference call in mid-May of this year.

Really? Dang! I hate it when that happens!

Understand? I understand you're a lying sack.

For as hip and savvy as the Obama Campaign would portray itself, it seems altogether unable to wrap its pointy little collective head around the idea that the internet allows numerous and highly motivated people to check everything...all the time. Gone are the days when you could stuff whatever was inconvenient down the Memory Hole and call it good. So using ol' Joe here to tell his "story" about Romney The Corporate Raider and All 'Round Bad Guy in May and then flatly denying any knowledge of the exact same story by the exact same guy in August is just...well...stupid and possibly illegal. There are campaign laws that prevent this sort of thing. Not that anyone in the Obama camp gives a shit about the law, but perhaps someone somewhere does.

Here is a short list of the lies in this ad:

• Joe Soptic worked for GST Steel for 30 years.
• Before Bain Capital ever came around, GST Steel's previous owner was shutting it down.
• When Bain Capital came in, they cancelled the shutdown, spent a ton of money on renovations and improvements to the company, and kept it running an additional 8 years.
• Did I miss where this steel worker thanked Mitt Romney for giving him an additional 8 years of employment (and healthcare coverage), that he wouldn't have had if Bain Capital hadn't bought the company? (Yes, kitten, you did miss that. Gratitude is a scarce thing from the left.)
• Joe Soptic’s wife never had insurance through GST Steel; she had her own plan through her own employer. She lost her job years after GST Steel was closed down. Her loss of her job and her insurance had NOTHING to do with Bain Capital.
• She died 5 years after GST Steel closed down. 

I love destroying people as much as I love
destroying businesses. It's kind of a two-fer.

All lies and deceit aside, let's consider the situation where a steel mill must be closed. Businesses are closed because they can't make a profit. They are not closed, as the ad would imply, so that greedy, rich men can smirk and rub their hands together as they think of all the families they've turned out into the street. So why isn't anyone asking why this steel mill could not make a profit, even with the massive investment and renovation from Bain Capital? Perhaps we are looking at a situation where the loving embrace of government, with all its regulations and taxes, was just a trifle too enthusiastic? Or perhaps union workers, with cushy benefits and stuffed retirements, were a bit over zealous in their assessment of their own worth? I don't know. But I'm betting.

So, after years of unsuccessfully trying to turn GST Steel into a profitable company, Bain Capital decided to close it. This makes Bain Capital, whether Romney was around or not, evil. And by evil I mean eeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiillllllllllll!

However, when Solyndra took over $535,000,000 of taxpayer money and then went bankrupt, leaving their employees without jobs or benefits, we aren't supposed to be worried about them at all because that was a situation where Our Dear Leader and his crack team of economic strategists, motivated solely by humane and enlightened concern for our planet and the lovely Democrats who call it home, decided to "invest" in green energy to give us the promised future of receding waters and a healed planet. (We won't even mention these intelligent, enlightened, green government investments...)



We're in good hands, kittens. Just sit down and shut up. One peep and we'll call you a racist.

Going Out of Business

In California, we're not just GOING out of business, we're DRIVING OUT the business. Through a combination of massive taxes, massive regulation and massive red tape, businesses are fleeing this state in record numbers. But we are assured that we will be left with an environmentally protected paradise once we get rid of all those businesses which are "just in it for the profit."

One of the most curious aspects of liberalism is its almost superstitious fear of business and profit. All you have to do for a good liberal is reassure them that something will never make a profit and they LOVE it. As insane as this sounds, it is, IMHO, due to two fundamental tenets of liberalism:

Democrats blow billions of
tax dollars because they care

1. Profit is greedy and self-serving and just bad. You know, bad like in kicking kittens out in a blizzard bad. So if something can be PROVEN to be completely, entirely, utterly and eternally UNPROFITABLE, they're all in because then it's not selfish. Which leads to the second tenet...
2. Government exists to do all the things that will never make a profit. This is because government is the very expression of humanitarian selflessness to the liberal. In the liberal head, average (well...below average, but I quibble) people are routinely transformed into devoted paragons of virtue and sacrifice just by being voted into office. Actually, this only happens to Democrats who get voted in; Republicans become raping, pillaging monsters spending public money to throw lavish parties in Las Vegas...wait...oh, never mind.

So instead of remaining in the forefront of the aviation and space technology industries, we're getting a TRAIN! Yup. A brand spanking new train. Why? 'Cause that's what the Europeans have, I guess. And it's going to go really fast. Not as fast as a SPACE SHIP..but pretty fast. Okay...not as fast as they TOLD us it would go when they got the idiots in California to approve it...but pretty fast. Okay...not much faster than trains normally go. BUT! It will cost billions and billions more than any train ever! That should count for something. 

Remember the Bridge to Nowhere? That was a Republican...so SHUT UP!

In another brilliant and scathingly pointed video, Bill Whittle contrasts the different visions of liberals in California, with their magic choo-choo train purchased with magic public dollars by magical kind-hearted Democrats, with the vision of a greedy evil private company working with private investment to bring the future to us all - from Texas where Republicans live.

Turn the lights off when you leave. We want to be green. This is California, after all.

Anybody care for some ouzo?

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Or "You didn't build that."

You needed government help for everything.  And now I believe I'll just help myself to your profits...

Every single one of you needs to pop over to Betsy's Page and read this post.  She's got Krauthammer and Sowell and Klein...It is filled with quotes like this from Krauthammer:

Absurd. We don’t credit the Swiss postal service with the Special Theory of Relativity because it transmitted Einstein’s manuscript to the Annalen der Physik. Everyone drives the roads, goes to school, uses the mails. So did Steve Jobs. Yet only he created the Mac and the iPad.

Obama’s infrastructure argument is easily refuted by what is essentially a controlled social experiment. Roads and schools are the constant. What’s variable is the energy, enterprise, risk-taking, hard work and genius of the individual. It is therefore precisely those individual characteristics, not the communal utilities, that account for the different outcomes.

And this from Sowell:

People who run businesses are benefitting from things paid for by others? Since when are people in business, or high-income earners in general, exempt from paying taxes like everybody else?

At a time when a small fraction of high-income taxpayers pay the vast majority of all the taxes collected, it is sheer chutzpah to depict high-income earners as somehow being subsidized by "the rest of us," whether in paying for the building of roads or the educating of the young.

Go read it all now. 

"You didn't earn that."

In fact, you got it on the come...and it not only never came, it skeedaddled out of town.


BIG H/T: Moonbattery

It's Not A Tax Unless We SAY It's a Tax

It's not a tax.




Okay...it's a tax.




So now the government can "tax" you to make you do anything or buy anything.  Say goodnight, Gracie.

As if they couldn't already...but still.  Screw freedom.

And just think, kittens, now that it's a tax, you can be arrested on tax evasion, have your property confiscated...all KINDS of fun stuff.  Kinda makes that little transportation bill that Boxer sponsored that allows the IRS to confiscate your passport on the suspicion of owed taxes a little more ominous, doncha think?  

If the shooting doesn't start soon, I'm going to take the blue pill.

In the meantime, I feel a song coming on...