Here's your sign. UPDATED!!!

One of my guilty pleasures is the comedy of the Blue Collar crew. While Ron White is my favorite, with his cigar and scotch and shit-eating grin, Bill Engvall is always funny when he gets into the numerous reasons why people should be awarded "the sign."

But it occurs to me that we have available a better sign that proves stupidity with alarming and decisive finality.

If we catch you. After the fact, of course.

However, my position that a gun free zone sign only serves to illustrate how stupid - and unarmed - you are does instead, according to my intellectual betters, clearly demonstrate how bitter and clingy I actually am. As I am completely unable to take my finger off the trigger of my gun, even long enough to pick my nose or thumb through my King James version of the Bible, I am unable to demonstrate how effective this sign really is. Apparently using a sign to indicate your desire to protect yourself with a sign works. Just watch this informative video.

I don't know how you can argue with that. Look at the way that sign stopped the violent and armed perpetrator every time.

Once again, liberals are very, very smart and are never driven by an agenda, but only by "what works." They are pragmatists. Only science is their master.  We idiots and in-bred fly-over 'tards still bitterly clinging to our damn guns are the ones who do not trust signs because we are ideologically driven. We don't care about statistics or results because we can't understand science anyway - just killing stuff.

Exactly, sweetheart. You're cute. Stupid works for you.

I just have one question. If these signs work so amazingly well, why did President Obama just sign into law a bill that gives him Secret Service protection for life? Why not just get himself one of those super-duper, fool-proof, fail-safe signs? Who doesn't want that kind of protection?

I would probably be considered a little petty if I pointed out at this time that this level of hypocrisy has rarely been seen in politics. Even from Democrats. And that's saying a lot.

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UPDATED!

"You'd have to be a gun-toting, slack-jawed, goat-roping circus clown to miss the armor-piercing logic of my position on gun control," stated Mayor Bloomberg at his recent press conference.

"The most salient point made above, and one I feel compelled to enumerate as you seem to keep missing it, is that guns are NOT FOR THE STUPID LITTLE PEOPLE. As soon as you can grasp that concept, we'll all get along much better," he offered diplomatically. "I mean, honestly, if I don't believe that you're capable of using salt correctly or regulating your soda intake appropriately, why in the world would I believe you needed access to a gun?

"Guns are for the smart people. We need guns to stay safe--OOPS! I mean saf-ER than your government issued sign would insure--so that we can continue to run things. What would happen to all you nose-picking, bare-foot beauty queens if all the smart people were unprotected--OOOPS! again. I mean, protected only by their sign?

"Look, there are people that society can afford to take chances with. That would be all of you.

"Then there are people who are so smart and important and NECESSARY that society must break its own rules of safety in order to keep them safe-ER. That would be us.

"Remember when President Bush said, 'I've abandoned free market principles to save the free market system'? Well, this is like that.

"And if you weren't so stupid...but whatever. Here's your sign."

Well, I feel safer already.