Man Up

Now is not the time for the GOP to get in touch with their inner feminine side.

Joan of Argghh! at Primordial Slack rips the GOP for behaving like, well...like the GOP. Apparently they haven't been listening for the past few years. The American people want a NEW GOP. Fresh blood. And if we don't get it, we might spill some. (Oh...quit! I'm just kidding!...It's a JOKE, people!...Hold on there...let's talk about this...there's no need for hand cuffs...wow! you guys take everything so seriously!...do I get a phone call?)

Polling numbers point to, “act right, and act now!” not to some proffered remedy of gobbledy-gook chart-dubbing. The pressure from the Tea Party is leaving a mark on the GOP and on a Presidential race that would otherwise have been a repeat of McCain’s tone-deaf “maverick” bullshit. The little people find all the strength they need in the power of, “No. No more. Not welcome. Enough!” 

And they made it heard through the din of the MSM shut-out by dint of their votes.

Read it all here. It's delicious. 

Watch where you're putting that!

I broke the code when he used anger twice, too. UPDATED WITH RIGHTEOUS ANGER!

What a dead giveaway. Anger. Anger. Totally code for black. Just like when Joe Wilson shouted, "You lie!" He might as well have added, "boy!" Everyone KNEW that's what he meant. At least, everyone in the media, and they are the only ones who count because they are the ones who tell us what to think.



It was just like saying, "...they'll put y'all back in chains."

You'd have to be racist not to understand how racist using the word "anger" is, y'all.

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No words.  This lovely young woman has them all.




On a tip from TOP NOTCH Commenter, RG. Thanks, man.

"Actually, he's just not very smart."

Remember when we had a choice between him and Palin? Now THERE was an idiot. Seeing Russia and all. Boy, we dodged a bullet on that one.




Whew!

Every VP Deserves His Own Hey, Girl Meme! UPDATED WITH AWARD!

Here's Saint Joseph the Traveler's.

I've got a five letter word for you. Stupid.

UPDATED WITH AWARD!!!

Linked by Harvey at IMAO!  High Praise to MEEEEEEEEE! (Actually I found this picture of Biden at Jim Treacher, so I'm not even original in achieving lasting fame and a place in history.  But oh well...Biden's a plagiarist, so I'm in good company.)

H/T: Jim Treacher

Now You Have To Give Him The Ice Cream

He's going to be distracted for the rest of the afternoon if you don't.

Yes. Yes, you did. We're all a little embarrassed, too.

If prayers helped, you wouldn't be Vice President.

I got HIGH PRAISE from IMAO.US!

H/T: LMAObama.com

I Think I'll Solve the Puzzle, Pat

I like the hat. It has the careless insouciance of the truly avant garde. It goes particularly well with the unlit, chewed to a soggy mass cigar stub protruding jauntily from his mouth and the opened jean jacket which says, "This is who I am" with the flare of a man who is completely comfortable with how horrifying and yet undeniably impressive his level of self-acceptance seems to the rest of us.

I'm certain this security guard is waiting for your call, Mr. President

...and waiting...

Security guard shot at Family Research Council in downtown D.C.

By Paul Duggan and Mihir Zaveri

A security guard at the Family Research Council was shot and wounded Wednesday morning after a scuffle with a man who expressed disagreement with the group’s conservative views in the lobby of the group’s headquarters in downtown Washington, authorities said. 

D.C. Police Chief Cathy Lanier said the shooter walked into the lobby of the building at about 10:45 and was confronted by the security guard as if the guard were asking him where he was going. 

The man then took out a gun and opened fire on the guard, Lanier said. The guard and others wrestled the man to the ground, disarmed him and waited for police, she said. The guard was then taken to the hospital and is in stable condition, the chief said. FBI officials said the guard was shot in the arm. 

Read more...

Cue the media and the usual suspects politicians for immediate shock and outrage, calls for gun control, and pleas for civil discourse. 

Wait...what? Oh...the shooter was a liberal who expressed disagreement with conservative views? He was carrying a Chick-fil-A bag? 

Nothing to see here, folks. Show's over. Everybody can go home.

H/T: Ace of Spades HQ

For A Pudgy Old Guy, Newt Can Smack'em Around

"Romney should run as the paycheck president to Obama's food stamp president."

H/T: Ace of Spades HQ

ZERO DAYS. We have to do better, folks.

The Republicans are a gonna slap you back in chains....y'ALL.

Today Joe Biden, in a folksy play-to-the-crowd slang that would have made Elmer Gantry proud, made the threat that Republicans want to put people back in chains.

This from our erudite and accomplished foreign policy expert, Second in Command, Saint Joseph the Traveler. 

One heartbeat away.

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I feel a song coming on.....

Paul Ryan's Most Charming Moments -UPDATED WITH AWARD!!!

Adorable. I could just pinch his cheek.

I'VE BEEN LINKED AT IMAO.US. 

I'm all a flutter! 

The Solution to Our Medicare Crisis

With both sides arguing over who is going to kill Grandma and Grandpa first, I don't know why this idea hasn't been floated. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Combining America's love of sport with sound fiscal policy. It's a win-win.

Actually, this would produce a decided advantage for Democrats since they still vote even when they're dead.

"Whoever he is...he's too late. See!? The Cliffs of Insanity!"

We're heeeeeer-er!

ROMNEY/RYAN? HAHAHA! THEY ARE TOO LATE!

**********************

Our Dear Beloved Leader, Hosanna Hosanna Bama, has skillfully and compassionately driven us right to the very edge of the Cliffs of Fiscal Insanity for He is a man of vision and leadership. It is now up to us. Our choices are only two: jump for Obama or get pushed off by the Republicans.

Hosanna Hosanna Bama believes in us. He believes in our goodness. He believes that we will do the right thing and JUMP FOR OBAMA. Not WITH him, mind you, he will stay behind to make sure all is well, but certainly we will be jumping with those evil 1%'ers because our death is as nothing if we can destroy people who have lots more than----okay...so maybe they will stay behind, too...but we will definitely be jumping with those HENRYs, that's for DAMN sure because they are the one group in America that has enough money to cause envy but not enough to buy off our politicians Democratic Saints. So eff'em. Right? Who's with me???!?!

Come on! All good Democrats, Crybabies and Scaredy Cats know that there is only one way out of this fiscal crisis and it is to trust Hosanna Hosanna Bama and Saint Joseph the Traveler (with all that foreign policy experience) to guide us to the Promised Land on the rocks below. Only with Democrats can we be be assured that massive spending and debt is the answer to our prayers even though this has proven disastrous for every country in history who has ever tried it. Hosanna Hosanna Bama is different. Hosanna Hosanna Bama cares. And all good Democrats know that caring is much more powerful than math.

Instead of abandoning the principle of "I want it all while someone else pays for it", a principle that is demonstrably older and more ingrained in human history than the principle of "I must earn what I have and not envy the success of others", now is the moment when we must re-commit and JUMP FOR OBAMA or those evil Republicans could force us to behave like adults. How dare they?

The choice is clear. If any doubts remain, this should lay them to rest.

The Republicans are truly insane. As a nation we stand on the Cliffs of Fiscal Insanity, fellow citizens, and the Republicans expect us to act sanely. This must not happen! Now is our moment! We are the ones we've been waiting for! The oceans are rapidly receding and the rocks are exposed below! Jump, stupid!

H/T: PJ Media and Andrew Klavan, and Top Commenter, RG

2.8 Million Dollars Seems Reasonable

PAY UP OR I SING

Jennifer Lopez has sued her former driver for extortion, claiming he demanded $2.8 million or else he'd tell the media and authorities about secrets he overheard while driving her here and there.

Ms. Lopez has filed a countersuit for 20 million dollars to try to shut him up. Mr. Manoukian claims the information he has is not just embarrassing, humiliating and outrageous, it may "expose" Ms. Lopez to criminal prosecution.

Someone needs to tell both of them that we already know everything....

Fat Butt and Pancake Head
Get More: SOUTH
PARKmore...

Introducing Cutie Pie

The Daily Caller has put together a list of 10 things most people don't know about Paul Ryan. And no, 'Paul Ryan is a cutie pie' isn't one of the ten. We already know that.

1.) A PPP poll from July suggests Ryan could help Romney win Wisconsin. In a generic match-up between Romney and Obama, the poll showed Obama up six percentage points. But when Ryan was listed as Romney’s running mate, Ryan narrowed the gap for Romney by 5 percentage points, making it a 1 percentage point race in Obama’s favor.

2.) Ryan told Politico’s Mike Allen that his worst habit is that he drinks “two cups of coffee every morning.” Romney, whose Mormon religion forbids him from drinking coffee, will likely not be joining Ryan in his “vice” on the campaign trail.

3.) Ryan is best known for his conservative budget plan, “The Path to Prosperity.” The plan has passed the House of Representatives — albeit in slightly different iterations — the past two years with almost all Republicans and no Democrats voting for it. The plan drastically reforms Medicare and has been demagogued by the left — one liberal ad in 2011 even went so far as to depict a Ryan look-alike pushing an old lady off a cliff.


Read more....