This is long and depressing as hell, but a "must listen".

Really.

Video courtesy of Little Bonanza Productions. For more information, 

please contact: lisa@littlebonanzaproductions.com.

Damn. I knew I couldn't keep my good mood going for very long.

The Excuse-O-Meter!

I'm getting one of these, too.

This is already a good day. A VERY good day!

I'm a MEME! -- UPDATED WITH ACCEPTANCE SPEECH!

On T-shirts, no less!

This is FABULOUS!

And all this time I thought I was just wasting my time in the inter-verse, exploring strange new worlds...seeking out new life and new civilizations...boldly going nowhere.

But, it seems, I have ARRIVED!

BUY THEM HERE!!!

Me want.

Actually, it's not a matter of merely wanting. I MUST have this. I think it's required or something. In fact, everyone on my Christmas list must have one. Hell, everyone in my address book must have one.

I'm simply giddy with delight. This calls for an award. And an acceptance speech.

"To everyone who's made this possible, I thank you and I applaud you for being so very, very discerning and incredibly smart to see right through all the bullshit and idiocy on this blog to the rare kernels of truth that sneaked in despite myself to speak to our very souls. It has been a privilege and an honor to be the sole person screwing around on this project for the last however many years, and I can't thank you all enough for occasionally stopping by to laugh, cry, or just shake your head at my plagiarisms, stolen pictures, and hot links to better writing.

"Even this award must be shared with a dear friend because I've never thought of a single original comment, and who shall remain nameless so that I can scoop up all the attention. She is the one who delivered this now famous line years ago. We still laugh over it. She has incredible comic timing...especially when she's deadly serious.

So thank you...THANK YOU! I love you! I love you all!"

And I know it says 2012, but I'm too lazy to fix it. Or to make another one.

Another Chart of Wisdom

While we are on an educational theme this morning, and using charts as classroom aids...

A Man's Guide To Women

You're welcome.

H/T: M.H.

Even when he's wrong...he's still right.

The Left Needs Thorazine. STAT!

When Barack Obama was running for the presidency, we were treated to the charming, yet hauntingly creepy, songs of children praising him and looking forward to a future paradise under His gentle and wise leadership.

That I could handle.

But this? OMG.

O. M. G.

I don't even know what to say, except, "Run, run, run...run, Liz, run!"

When one sees this level of rank stupidity pass for clever campaign messaging, it is tempting to believe that surely it must be confined to a small fringe element in society and can, therefore, be safely ignored. You would be wrong. The insanity, beautifully set to music in this little video, is also on display at our universities.

NYU Professor’s “solution” for global warming is literally one of the most insane things ever…

Matthew Liao, director of the Bioethics Programme at New York University, says we should combat global warming by genetically engineering humans so they are shorter and allergic to red meat.

 Yes, really.

This is what happens when really, really smart, highly educated people find that no one gives a rat's ass about what they are doing. Feeling overlooked? Just like in high school? Can't get a date? Never been laid? Come up with a revolutionary idea to save the planet!! You'll be the new sensation! You'll get a Gold Star! Every left-wing think tank already infested with other really, really smart, highly educated people doing stuff no one gives a damn about will applaud you for your courageous work.

And that's really all you need to know about liberalism. It appeals to people who were the Gold Star children in school. Who never had a friend, didn't play in sports, couldn't get a date...but were the star of the classroom. Most of them never leave the classroom because it's the only place where they ever enjoyed a sense of importance and superiority. They are losers in the real world. But even the safe, secluded world of research and academia finally loses its glossy appeal when they realize that no one outside their towers gives a hoot about their life's work, and -- even worse -- the only funding they will ever get is from a government agency. So they spend their life begging the government for the money to do the crap no one cares about.

Talk about feeling unloved.

Recipe For a Wack-a-do Liberal Scientist

Ingredients

One super smart weirdo
Lots and lots of education
Inflated sense of importance and superiority
Millions of dollars in government grant money
Isolation of a university environment

Carefully remove all normal interactions with normal people. Discard. Stir all ingredients together and let steep until it becomes a toxic mess. Strain carefully. Enjoy.

Heh, Idiot Congresscritters, it's not about you.

Surprise! It's not about you. It's about the people you represent.

What a novel idea. Just a minute...let me sit down and ponder that. Wow.



Professor Turley ALMOST gets it right. Almost. For a liberal professor he gets closer than I could have hoped, but -- like a liberal -- felt compelled to throw in the assurance that he simply LOVES Obama and agrees with virtually everything he wants to do, just not how he wants to do it. The reason this distinction is so important, he warns chillingly, is that if Obama can do what he wants now, then we might someday get some right-wing asshole in the presidency who will find it possible to do what HE wants and, of course, we all know that would mean undoing all the wonderful, miraculous, life-changing, earth-saving good stuff the liberals have done.

HOLY CONSTITUTION, BAT MAN!

So his argument breaks down to this: the only real reason we must now constrain the illegal, dangerous overreach of someone as luscious and godlike as President Obama is that we won't always enjoy such amazing awesomeness in the White House and we'll for damned sure want to be able to slap around some future president if -- GASP! -- America is stupid enough to ever again elect a conservative.

So the power of the legislature must be protected for the progress of liberalism!

FORWARD, COMRADES!

Of course, this dire warning about the remote possibility of ever seeing another Republican president...and I mean one who actually IS a Republican and not a RINO like McCain or even Romney...is laughable when you see the siege of illegals at our borders, the power of the IRS, the spying of the NSA, the refusal to allow even the slightest oversight of voter registration rolls, or the full court press resistance to the implementation of voter ID laws. Give it another year and the Democrats will have locked up the political power in this country for the rest of its history.

Honestly, when you are "fundamentally transforming" America, isn't it kind of important that you look down the road a wee bit and plan to KEEP the reins of power to insure your transformation is left completely intact...no matter what?

These guys may be dumb...but they're not stupid.




H/T: Small Dead Animals

UTOPIA...Where your ruby slippers don't work. Actually, nothing does.

I want to see this. Of course, it isn't playing anywhere NEAR me. Just like D'souza's film, "America". I suppose I'll have to buy both on DVD.

Your Saturday Morning Western

Remember as kids getting up on Saturday morning and watching cartoons, and then an old western, before Mom kicked your lazy butt out of the house to go play with someone...anyone? Just git!

Your morning western. Just like the old days. Sort of...almost...okay...nothing like the old days! HAHA!

Thanks, Dave!

SWIFT, INSTANT, IMMEDIATE DISMISSAL

One screw up and you're history. And now...with YouTube...I mean that in more ways than one.

Unflattering, but true.

And if it isn't the dog, it will be the cat. So I'm doubly screwed.

This is going to happen. It's just a matter of time.

When Bush Was Nero...

For as great a country as America is, every once in awhile we make a grave mistake and elect a Republican president, knowing full well that he (no matter WHO he is) will prove to be evil and unkind and just plain dim-witted.

But, alas, we do it anyway.

So not too long ago we did just that and we saw that when catastrophe struck -- at the very moment when it was playing out in real time and no one could possibly know what it all meant or how terrible it would finally be -- a Republican president sought to maintain his composure and calmly continued reading to little innocent schoolchildren instead of jumping up and screaming, "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

That's because he is evil and doesn't care about children, of course. If he cared, he would have reacted immediately, screaming and shouting, jumping up and down and flapping his arms. He would have scared the living shit out of those little kids. Because he cared.

So the tale of President Bush and the reading of "My Pet Goat" became proof positive of the undeniable truth that Bush was stupid and evil and bad and stupid and evil...and bad.

Bush was Nero. Bush was Nero because he didn't instantly run screaming from the room. Bush was Nero because he took in unbelievably horrifying information and, while trying to process it, retained the presence of mind to not scare the little kids.

Unfeeling bastard

American certainly learned her lesson with that loon. So we elected someone who really cares...someone who is kind and intelligent and good. Really good. Like better-than-the-rest-of-us good. We elected King President Obama. And everything is now good.

Very, very good.

Because we'd learned our lesson about those uncaring Republicans caught reading children's stories at the very moment of an unexpected crisis.

Now we have a president who helps us all deal with what "may be a terrible tragedy" by talking to us as if we're children and barely mentioning it at all lest it detract from his prepared speech about evil Republicans and doing whatever the hell he wants at any given moment.

Remember Fort Hood? Obama handled that with the depth of character that only a Democrat can manage.

The extraordinary display of emotion over a stunning loss of American life by an Islamic terrorist can only serve to comfort and reassure all Americans that this -- THIS -- president cares for us all. Sort of.

Or there was the amazing courage he showed during the Benghazi attack as he managed to buck up under the horror of watching brave men fight for hours before succumbing to overwhelming forces, unaided and abandoned, so that he could continue to pack for his Vegas trip to party with  Beyonce and Jay-Z...and even get a good night's sleep.

That takes real strength of character. Few among us could have done that.

And let's not forget about how proactive and relevant he proved to be during the Iranian election crisis when pro-freedom forces were pushing back against the oppressive regime of the mullahs, and, while being slaughtered with machetes in the streets, were begging America for support. He was able to sum the whole thing up as "a vigorous debate." And decided that he mustn't get involved with the democratic process.

That takes real smarts.

I don't know a single Republican who would have seen through all the mayhem of those weeks and deduced it down to its simplest truth like that.

Believe me, folks, we've got ourselves a real president who understands how to ignore handle a crisis and is, therefore, constantly prepared to get right on it...as long as there isn't a fundraiser scheduled...or a tee time set up. Or a vacation. Or a shoutout. Or just a bad joke to tell...or whatever...

Nero couldn't have been any more nuts than Obama.

Everyone has heard, if even in passing, of Nero fiddling while Rome burned. It is a cliche, and the phrase instantly conveys the idea of a ruler so detached and consumed with himself and his pleasures that he is simply unable to respond to a crisis or even fulfill the normal demands of governing...until the whole place burns down around him.

That is our president.

A passenger plane carrying 295 innocent civilians, as many as 23 U.S. citizens, was shot down and our boy throws out a casual mention that it may be a terrible tragedy...and even that bullshit was qualified with "it looks like". WTF? It looks like it may be a terrible tragedy?

Mr. President, just what WOULD be a terrible tragedy, if this doesn't end up qualifying for one? Hmmmmm...?

Besides, as someone wrote (I honestly can't remember who), a plane crashing because of a mechanical malfunction is a tragedy. A plane being shot out of the sky by Russian separatists is an act of war. At the VERY LEAST it demands a response that conveys outrage and a firm resolve to seek justice for the murder of innocents.

This indecisive, bullshit, throwaway, I'll-know-more-when-I-hear-it-on-the-news-tonight comment does not, under any circumstances, fit into a 16 minute whining joke-and-bitch session about how Republicans are not letting our boy spend even more money.

Seriously. WTF?

The man is nuts. Stark. Raving. Nuts. Cookoo. Mad as a March Hare. CRAAAAAZZY!

But he's our nutty little professor. Isn't he?

I'm sure Putin is delighted that our little boy-toy president is fretting over whether this MAY be a terrible tragedy.

Who wants to take bets that not a single thing is done about this possible tragedy?

Not. One. Thing.

There are fundraisers scheduled, people! By GOD! The show must go on.

I am officially a redneck.

With the resounding success of "Duck Dynasty", it seems that the moniker of "redneck" has reached a new level of rspect. So please take me at my word when I say there ain't nobody more redneck than me. (Don't get me started on "I am." That's way too hoity toity for an honest redneck.)

You might think this declaration of redneck-ness means that I have four cars parked on my property. I have five. WIN. The fact that they all still run is a bit of a handicap, I admit, but give it time; something's bound to break down.

No, the reason why I am the numero uno redneck in my neck of the woods - bar none - is because I sit outside at night and run my little dog with my gun.

Yessir, I do.

You see, my little Cavalier won't go for a walk. I kid you not. Even the suggestion of a walk around the property causes him to droop. His daily level of exercise consists of moving from a prone position on the floor, to a prone position on the bed, or sofa, or chair. But bring out the cat toy laser pointer at night, when you can easily see it on the grass, and he loses his ever loving mind! He'd run himself to death if I let him. He even scratches at the back door and whines when it starts to get dark outside. Problem solved. He stays fit. I sit on the porch and drink.

However, the cat light I purchased for him to chase while yapping hysterically to entertain the
neighbors, broke almost immediately because it was cheap crap from China. Too lazy to go get another, I now sit outside on the back porch and use the laser pointer on my .38 handgun...and around and around and around he goes. Like a bullet. Sort of. HAHAHA!

Yes, I use my gun to run my dog.

I don't think you can get much more redneck than that, quite honestly.

At least not and still have all your teeth in your head and not be married to your cousin.

Stuck this in here because it is just too awesome!
The red neck racehorse!